When was the last time that you thought about attraction? Was it an hour ago? Five minutes? 10 seconds? It's likely that other people are thinking about it as much as you are. Here are seven psychological things we do that make us less attractive.
Number one: Acting cool and distant
While procrastination might feel good, it isn't attractive. In 1992, two psychologists named Morland and Beach were curious about the relationship between how many times you see someone and how attractive you find them. They had four women pretend to be students in a large intro psych class. At the end of the semester, students in the class were asked to rate how attractive they found each of the women. What the researchers found was that the fewer classes a woman attended, the less attractive they were rated by other students. The other students basically forgot about her. I'll try and remember this study the next time I have to psych myself up to go to class.
拖延的感覺可能挺不錯的，但是會讓你魅力銳減。1992 年，有兩名叫做 Morland 和 Beach 的心理學家因好奇而研究見面次數與魅力值的關聯性。他們要四名女子假裝是大班制心理學概論課程的學生。學期末的時候，班上學生要為四名女子的魅力值評分。研究顯示，只要這名女子越少來班上上課，同學對於她的魅力值評分就會越低。因為其他學生基本上已經忘記她是誰了。下次做心理準備去上課前，我會記得這個實驗結果的。
Number two: Acting clingy
It's the classic young love phenomenon—constantly hanging out together. Three social psychologists from the University of California, San Diego, conducted a study on the relationship between people's physical proximity and how much they like each other. The researchers made a surprising discovery; they asked students to name who they liked and disliked. The researchers found that the students' most-liked people were those who they frequently met face-to-face. But the researchers also found that the students' least-favorite people were those with whom they were forced to spend time. In other words, watch out that spending time with your crush doesn't end up with you getting on their nerves.
Number three: Acting as if you don't like your date all that much
When Grandma told you, "It always pays to smile," were her words backed up by science? Psychologist Curtis and Miller randomly paired participants. One student in the pair was led to believe that their partner either liked or disliked them. Those who thought they were liked were nicer, and their partners ended up liking them more. The researchers concluded that so-called reciprocal liking is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If your partner thinks you like them, they'll be nicer to you, which in turn makes the whole relationship better. And the opposite is also true; if they think that you don't like them, they'll be meaner, and the whole relationship will suffer. Turns out that Grandma was onto something.
奶奶告訴你：「要常常保持微笑。」她有任何科學根據嗎？心理學家 Curtis 和 Miller 隨機配對參與實驗者。配對中的其中一方會被告知對方喜歡或不喜歡自己。認為對方喜歡自己的學生會表現得比較友善，對方也會相對應地更喜歡他。所以最終的研究結論是：所謂的相互喜歡是一種自我應驗預言。如果你的實驗夥伴覺得你喜歡他們，他們就會對你比較好，最終就會讓整體關係變好。而反之亦然，如果他們覺得你不喜歡他們，他們的態度就會比較差，兩人的關係就會變得不好。所以我們會發現，奶奶的話不無道理。
Number four: Revealing too much, too soon
In 2011, researchers told female undergrads that their Facebook profiles had been viewed by male students and that they would now be viewing the profiles of those guys. You can probably imagine that the women were intrigued. The women were split into groups and were told either that he liked their profile or that the researchers didn't know whether he liked their profile. The women were most attracted to the men who didn't reveal whether they liked the women. Why? The researchers decided that the more the women pondered the mysterious man, the more he was on their mind and the more intrigued they became. Austin Powers' nickname was actually pretty honest. The magical man of mystery does get the dates.
2011 年，研究者告訴一些女大學生她們的 Facebook 個人資訊被一些男同學看過了，而她們現在也要去看那些男生的資料。你可能可以想像，這些女生產生好奇心了。這些女同學被分成不同組別，有的人被告知這些男同學喜歡自己，而有的人是被告知不知道那些男同學喜不喜歡自己。女生會最容易被那些沒有透漏他們喜不喜歡自己的男生吸引。為什麼呢？研究者認為這是因為，女生越想著這些謎樣的男生，這些男生就越能佔據她們的思緒，也讓她們更加好奇。Austin Powers 的綽號其實也取得很實在。神秘的男子的確約到很多美眉。
Number five: Going on boring dates
Two psychologists in Vancouver, Canada, did a study on misattribution of arousal, which is when people make mistaken inferences about what is causing them to feel the way they do. They had an attractive female research assistant give male participants a questionnaire. In the first group, she asked them the questions while they were on a scary suspension bridge. In the second group, she asked them while on a low, small bridge. Those on the scary bridge were more excited because of the bridge and were more attracted to the research assistant and more likely to call her later. On your next date, don't just get coffee. That's boring. Instead, go see fireworks or ride go-karts.
Number Six: Using cheesy pickup lines
Psychologists who study attraction have identified three general strategies for pickup lines. Cute, flippant—for example, "Your place or mine?" Innocuous—such as, "What do you think of the music?" And direct—as in, "Can I buy you lunch?" A study asked men and women which pickup lines they prefer to receive. Most strategies worked for men being approached by women. However, women tend to prefer innocuous and direct lines over cute, flippant ones. Bottom line: Groaners aren't attractive. So now you know. Asking someone, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" is scientifically the lamest possible thing to say.
Number seven: Not having a wingman or wingwoman
Some people treat dating like a competition, but did you also know that there's lots of room for cooperation among friends? Having a third party make the introduction may be the best strategy of all for guys trying to pick up women. Especially in today's dating world where there's more choice than ever, daters have to overcome many hurdles in order to catch someone's interest. Having someone make the introduction for you automatically moves you past the difficult first stage, and it makes it clear that you're nice enough to have friends. Sorry, James Bond, but in the real world, the best romancers work in pairs.
In today's fast-paced dating world, people are quickly judged on first impressions. But don't worry. All you have to do is make sure you never do any of these seven unattractive things, and you'll do fine. Although, bringing chocolates never hurts, either.