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「【搞笑情境劇】英國要跟歐盟分手啦!」- Brexit Divorce


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Please, baby. You have to give me a second chance.
拜託,寶貝。妳一定要再給我一次機會。

I've already said no. It's over.
我已經說了不要。我們結束了。

But you've never even given me a proper reason.
但妳甚至沒有給我一個合理的理由。

You're too controlling.
你控制欲太強。

I ask your opinion before I do anything.
我在做任何事情之前都會問妳的意見啊。

You don't respect my boundaries.
你都不尊重我的底線。

We both agreed on an open relationship.
我們都同意要維持開放式關係啊。

Look, I feel like I'm losing my identity.
聽好,我覺得我好像要失去自我了。

Now you are just blaming me for your own personal problems.
現在妳只是在拿妳自己的個人問題來怪我。

All I know is I'm unhappy, and I need to be on my own for a while.
我只知道我不開心,我需要自己冷靜一段時間。

So you are off the market?
所以妳要離開我了?

Well, I might start a new relationship.
嗯,我可能會開始一段新的戀愛關係。

Oh, really. Just like this, huh?
噢,真的啊。這麼快,是嗎?

Yes. Why not?
對。為什麼不行?

Oh, well, maybe you are not as hot as you think you are, eh?
噢,嗯,可能因為妳以為妳很辣,但其實沒有吧?

Well, there's that American guy...
哼,其實有個美國男生...

Ha, he is not interested. He is only into himself.
哈,他對妳根本沒有興趣。他只在乎他自己。

Well, then, there's India.
哼,那還有印度。

Your ex-boyfriend? Seriously? That was a toxic relationship. All you did was take, take, take, and you call me controlling?
妳前男友?妳認真嗎?那根本是段不健康的關係。妳只一直拿、拿、拿對方的東西,而妳現在說我控制欲太強?

I'm leaving you. I've put your stuff in boxes on the table.
我要跟你分手。我已經把你的東西打包在桌上的箱子裡了。

I see you are keeping the Coventry International Transport Museum.
我看到妳要自己留著考文垂交通博物館。

That was a gift.
那是個禮物欸。

Oh, congratulations. You have woken him up.
噢,恭喜妳。妳把他吵起來了。

Why are Mommy and Daddy fighting?
媽咪跟把拔為什麼吵架?

Daddy is going away for a little while, sweetie.
把拔要離開一陣子,寶貝。

But I don't want Daddy to go.
但我不想要把拔離開。

Well, that's between myself and your father, so let's go back to bed, okay?
嗯,那是我自己跟你爸爸之間的事情,回去睡覺吧,好嗎?

Daddy is still going to be here, okay?
把拔還是會待在這裡的,好嗎?

We'll see about that.
結果還不一定呢。

Excusez-moi?
妳說什麼?

I want full custody.
我要孩子的完全監護權。

No, no, no, no, no, no. He stays with me.
不行、不行、不行、不行、不行、不行。他要跟著我。

You can't use him as some sort of pawn.
你不能把他當人質。

You do not even know his name.
妳甚至不知道他的名字。

Ireland.
愛爾蘭。

It's Northern Ireland!
是北愛爾蘭啦!

Well, whatever.
呃,隨便啦。

Why don't we ask him what he thinks?
我們為什麼不問問他想要什麼?

It doesn't matter what he bloody thinks. It's what's best for me...for the family.
他 X 的他想要什麼根本不重要。重點是什麼對我...對家庭才是重要的。

Well, okay. You want a divorce? Fine, you can have one. But I'm not going to make this easy. I'm going to draw things out until the last minute. And I hope you like negotiating because this is going to be excruciating.
嗯,好。妳想要離婚?好啊,妳可以離婚。但我不會善罷甘休。我會把事情拖到最後一刻。而且我希望妳很喜歡協議,因為這過程會超痛苦。

Fine!
好!

Fine!
好!

See you in Brussels!
我們布魯塞爾見!

As soon as I turn 18, I'm out of here.
我一到 18 歲的時候,我就要離開這裡。

DoomDah.
都躂。

Ooh, political. Hey, we're Foil Arms and Hog. Thanks a million for watching. We have new videos every single Thursday. Subscribe to the channel, and do us a big, massive favor.
噢,政治。嘿,我們是 Foil Arms and Hog 頻道。非常感謝你們觀看。我們每個禮拜四都會推出新影片喔。請幫我們一個大大的忙,訂閱我們的頻道吧。

And if you want to see us live in front of real people as real people, we are playing all over Ireland, and England, and a little bit in Scotland, and Northern Ireland.
而如果你們想要看到現場、在真人面前的我們的話,我們在整個愛爾蘭、英國,蘇格蘭一些地方,還有北愛爾蘭都有巡迴演出。

All the dates are on the website, foilarmshog.ie. And we've got merch coming real soon, as in—fingers crossed—next week, right?
日期都在網站 foilarmshog.ie 上可以找到。而且很快我們也會推出商品,大概在--希望啦--下週會推出,對吧?

That's right. On the website. Check it out. Oh.
沒錯。在網站上。去看看吧。噢。

Check out that fan.
看看那把扇子。

Fan me with it. Fan me with it. Oh, I do declare.
用它搧我。用它搧我。噢,真的很讚。

DoomDah.
都躂。

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