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「我無法閱讀,但我並不笨--認識讀寫障礙」- Don't Call Me Dumb Because I Can't Read


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Hey. I am Billy, and I can't read. I'm not blind, not stupid, nothing like that. I am dyslexic.
嘿。我是 Billy,我無法閱讀。我不是盲人、不是傻瓜、都不是。我有讀寫障礙。

It generally means that I am physically not able to read nor write. Or better, I can do it, but do it a hundred times slower than other people.
一般來說,這意味我生理上無法閱讀或寫作。好一點的講法是,我可以閱讀寫作,卻比其他人要慢上百倍。

Don't feel sorry for me. I'm happy this way. Let me tell you what happened to me.
不要為我難過。我這樣也過得很好。讓我跟你們分享我的故事。

My parents had always told me that I needed to be the best in studies to excel in life. They are both very successful. My dad is a lawyer, and my mom is a physicist. So my future was well defined from my birth.
我的父母總是告訴我,我的課業必須名列前茅才能成為人生勝利組。我父母都很成功。爸爸是律師,媽媽是物理學家。所以我的未來從出生就劃定好了。

I was supposed to become nothing less than a brain surgeon. And indeed, I remember my early years already doing a lot of early development: maths, science for kids, things like that.
我原本至少要當上腦外科醫生。事實上,我記得我從很小就開始各式各樣的早期開發:數學、兒童科學,之類的。

The only thing that confused my parents was that I didn't manage to learn to read. But I was still very small, so they thought as far as I was going to school anyway, they will teach me there.
我父母唯一納悶的是我學不會閱讀。但當時我還很小,所以他們心想反正我都要上學,那裡的老師會教。

When school started, I immediately saw that I was slower than other kids.That was strange. I had never seemed stupid before.
開學後,我立刻發現我學得比其他人慢。那很奇怪。我從來都不像是笨小孩。

I was quick-minded and easily understood anything I was explained. But when it came to reading or working with a text of any kind, I seemed an authentic retard.
我的思路敏捷,也很容易理解任何解釋給我聽的事物。但在閱讀或面對任何類型文本時,我看起來就像不折不扣的笨蛋。

Even worse, writing; for me, letters were looking like splashes of water that were constantly changing their shape and size.
更糟糕的是寫作;對我來說,文字就像濺起來的水花,不斷改變外觀和大小。

My teachers told me, "Concentrate! Concentrate!" But what should I do if, for me, they were like flies escaping from paper?
我的老師告訴我:「專心!要專心!」但我該怎麼辦,如果對我來說那些文字就像一隻隻從紙張飛走的蒼蠅?

I remember my first test that we got marks for. I understood it was very important to bring a good mark to my parents, to show them I am not stupid. I did my best but unfortunately managed to answer only three questions out of 12 in time.
我記得我的第一次計分考試。我知道那很重要,我必須獲得好成績讓父母知道我並不笨。我盡力了,但不幸地,我只在時間內答完 12 題中的三題。

I didn't understand why. The questions were not hard; I knew the answers. But it just took a lot of time to understand what was written and compose the written answer. I broke a sweat. Last thing I managed to do was write my name, Bill Bumble, on it.
我不明白為什麼。考卷題目不難;我都知道答案。但我花了很多時間去了解文字意思並寫出答案。考到汗流浹背。最後,我努力將我的名字 Bill Bumble 寫到了考卷上。

As the teacher looked them over, she asked me to stand up and read my name from the paper. "Bill Bumble," I said. She insisted that I read it from the paper. With effort, I read what I wrote. It was Bill Dumble.
老師看到考卷時,要我站起來,唸出考卷上的名字。「Bill Bumble」我說。但她堅持我唸出來。我費力讀出我在考卷上寫的名字。是 Bill Dumble。

Everyone was laughing at me, and I was there all embarrassed. Shall I say that Dumble became my nickname from that moment on? That was sad. But all I got was people mocking me all day and a D minus.
全班哄堂大笑,我尷尬無比地站在那裡。我該說 Dumble 從那一刻就成了我的綽號嗎?明明很令人難過。但一整天,我得到的只有大家的嘲笑和一個 D-。

I decided not to suffer on my own and came to my parents. They frowned when I told them I nearly got an F. But, as I told them about my vanishing-letter problem, they decided to take me to an eye doctor.
我決定不要獨自承受,於是找上父母。我告訴他們我差點拿到 F 的時候,他們眉頭都皺起來了。但當我告訴他們我遇到文字消失的問題,他們決定帶我去看眼科。

She checked my eyes and confirmed that they are absolutely okay but proposed a visit to another doctor who specializes in learning problems. He was a very nice person who listened to me attentively and asked me to show how I write.
醫生檢查了我的眼睛並確診完全沒問題,但她建議我們去找一位專門診斷學習障礙的醫生。他人很好,非常專注地聽我說話,並要我寫字給他看。

I did my best but failed because I was too nervous, maybe. There I said I could draw what I saw instead. I liked to draw a lot, and I guess it was the only thing I was brilliant at. I drew things just how I saw them.
我盡了力,但還是失敗了,可能是因為太緊張吧。於是我說我可以改成把我看到的東西畫出來。我很喜歡畫圖,我猜這是我唯一擅長的。我看到什麼就能畫出什麼。

The doc told my parents that I had a talent. And they seemed very impressed seeing it themselves. He then said I had dyslexia, and it is a chronic condition that can be improved but not cured. And I needed to adapt to the studies somehow.
醫生跟我父母說我有天賦。我的父母親眼看到後也十分驚豔。醫生接著跟我父母說我有長期性讀寫障礙,雖然可以改善但無法治癒。而且我必須想辦法調整學習方法。

He gave recommendations to prolong my test timing and to use more audio materials. But after some time at school, I understood that I lagged behind. And everyone was mocking me for this. It was hard to concentrate on the subjects. And my marks went down even more.
他建議延長我的考試時間並使用更多有聲教材。但在學校待了一段時間後,我知道我還是進度落後。每個人都在嘲笑我。這讓我很難專注在學科上。分數掉得更慘了。

Thus, my parents enrolled me to another school that specialized in individualized creative teaching. That's how I found out I am actually pretty smart. I had a tutor who adapted all the studies to my visual comprehension. I've got creative tasks of drawing some process or rule instead of describing it in written. I got audio books instead of textbooks. And also I got art classes, where I became the best at once.
於是,父母讓我轉到另一間專門提供適性創意教學的學校就讀。由此我發現其實我很聰明。我的老師讓我用視覺理解的方法學習所有課業。我有很多創造性學習任務,像是畫出一些過程或規則,而不用文字書寫。我的課本是有聲的而不是文字的。我也上美術課,馬上就成為班上最厲害的。

I am still far from finishing school. I'm in my early teens. I can say that I know what I want to be; there is no choice. I want to be an artist because it is the thing that I enjoy most in my life.
我還要很久才能完成學業。我現在才十多歲。但我可以告訴你我未來想當什麼;也沒有其他選擇。我想要當一名藝術家,因為這是我人生中最喜歡的事情。

I'm sorry that I can't fulfill the dreams of my parents, who expected me to become a top student. But my dyslexia decided for me, and they have accepted the fact.
我很抱歉不能實現父母的夢想,他們希望我成為一名優秀學生。但我的讀寫障礙幫我做了選擇,而他們也接受了。

But for dyslexia, I would have to study all those things I'm not so good at, and probably struggled to have the possibility to do what I like, which is drawing.
如果不是讀寫障礙,我可能必須學習所有那些我不擅長的科目,也可能會因為不知道能否做自己喜歡做的事,也就是畫畫,而陷入掙扎。

Now I can say that I am happy. And let those letters fly away; I am better without them.
現在我可以說,我很快樂。就讓那些文字飛得遠遠的;沒有它們我過得更好。

Please share my story, especially if you know someone who has the same problems as I do. Subscribe to the channel to hear other stories that are told, not written, which is a very good thing to my mind.
請分享我的故事,特別是如果你認識跟我有一樣問題的人。請訂閱我的頻道來聽聽其他故事,而非閱讀其他故事,我認為這是非常美好的事情。

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