Hey, Matt. Just returning your hedge clippers.
Oh, thank you.
What're you up to?
I'm just working on some of my new year's resolutions, actually.
Oh, I'm impressed. What kind of goals did you make?
Quite a few, but the one I'm working on right now is stealing.
You used to steal things?
No, no... But I do now.
Uh, excuse me?
I've been stealing things all day. Here's some guy's wallet, a really nice-looking watch, and...these ones belonged to some poor soul who left them unattended at McDonald's.
Uh, Matt, those look like kids' shoes.
Oh, undoubtedly, yeah. They were sitting outside the ball pit, so...
And the wheelchair? Please tell me you didn't steal...
This was the easiest one, actually. They could hardly chase me without this baby.
Oh my... You've got to be kidding me! It's...
Oh, careful. That's the propeller for a Cessna airplane. It's important.
You made a resolution to steal things? That's the worst thing I've ever heard!
Well, at least I'm making goals I can stick to. I also resolved not to eat any more fruits or vegetables. I was doing very well until I was diagnosed with scurvy. Bit into a hamburger and lost three teeth.
Oh, bleh. But your resolutions aren't making you a better person. You should be trying to improve yourself.
Not everything is about me, okay? Right now I want to focus on others and how I can use them to my advantage.
Okay. Well, it just so happens that my new year's resolution is to do a good deed daily. So today, I'm going to start by returning all of the stuff that you've stolen, including these.
What? No! Mallory! I want to find a rabbit and make it wear these!
What? No! What's wrong with you?!
It's for science!
What is wrong with you? Give them to me!
What is going on here?
I believe I'm being robbed, officer.
Oh, no. That is a lie. He has stolen all of the stuff in here. He made a new year's resolution to steal things, including these kids' shoes!
Sure he did.
No, I'm... You gotta believe me. He doesn't even need this wheelchair.
How dare you.
Oh, oh, no. You are kidding. Just show me you can—I know you can walk. Get out of here! Let's do it... Not...
What are you doing? Mallory...
You can't ride around in the wheelchair that belongs to somebody else! Show him you can walk!
We got a situation. A hostile is playing with a...I think, a man. I don't know what she's doing here exactly, but it's not looking... What are you doing? Ma'am, stop that!
Okay. Officer, sorry.
You will respect my authority. Cuff yourself to the Segway.
You heard me. Do it.
Thank you, officer.
Oh my gosh.
Should probably lay low for a while.