Peanuts by Schulz
Summer camp? Yes, I got your brochure. No, I wasn't planning on going to camp this year. Well, if I change my mind, could I bring my brother's wolf with me?
That's another camp I don't have to go to.
Well, what are you going to do this summer?
Not a thing. This is gonna be a bean-bag summer.
You asked for it, and I did it! I found you a bean-bag camp.
All you have to do each day is lie in your bean bag and watch TV.
Where do I sign?
Dear big brother,
Life here at bean-bag camp is wonderful. We don't do anything all day except lie in our bean bags, watch TV, and eat junk food. Well, I have to close now and get this letter over to the post office—if I can get out of this bean bag.
Oh yeah, Sally comes home today from bean-bag camp. I'll be interested to see if she's changed.
Say, big brother, how much longer before school starts again?
I don't know. I think, uh, 16 days?
Oh, come on! Every year! They did it again! They're starting school again before I'm ready! I don't know how high Mount Everest is.
You don't have to know, Sally. That's why you go to school. When you get to school, they'll tell you how high Mount Everest is.
Why would I want to know that? And 16 days makes how many minutes?
Uh, I don't know. Probably a whole lot, I guess.
That's good. I need lots of dread time.
Sally, what are you doing here on the side of the road?
I'm practicing waiting for the bus. You see, next week we go back to school. And the school bus is going to stop right there. So I'll already know how to wait for the bus. That is, if I can wake up. I haven't practiced that yet.
Linus, what happens if a person refuses to go to school?
The sheriff comes and gets you and throws you in a dungeon. No food or water for 10 years.
I'd hate that.
I'm with you there.
But, if I go to school, I go for how long?
It's worth thinking about, isn't it?
Hey, big brother, I've decided I'd rather go to school than spend 10 years in the dungeon.
Uh, a wise decision, Sally. This year you'll probably be studying fractions.
Exactly, where is this dungeon?
Hey, big brother, I'm making our lunches. What kind of sandwich would you like?
Peanut butter would be okay, I guess. Thank you. What I'd really like, of course, if you don't mind, would be roast beef with lettuce and mayonnaise, maybe a little mustard.
Peanut butter it is.
Sally, Sally! We're going to be late.
Calm down, big brother. Your sandwich is ready. But...I don't know how you're going to carry it. Your lunch box is broken, and we're all out of paper bags. Do you have a pencil?
I told you we had to hurry. The school bus just left.
So, what do we do now?
Walk? You mean with legs?
If the school bus doesn't come pretty soon, let's go home.
We probably should wait a little longer.
How much longer?
How about 20 minutes?
How about four seconds?
Why do I rush down here every morning 10 minutes ahead of time so I won't miss the school bus, and then stand here for 10 minutes, hoping it won't come. Someday there's going to be a monument here, and you know what will be on it? "This is where Sally Brown wasted the best years of her life. She could have slept another 10 minutes." Wake me when the school bus comes.
Here it comes now. It's almost to the middle of the block.
You woke me too soon. I could've slept another 30 feet.
Wake up, Sally. We're at school.
Keep going, driver. Once more around the park.