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「媽寶把媽媽帶來一起約會,到底會發生什麼令人傻眼的事情呢?」- The Perfect Date


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I'm so glad we're out; we're doing this.
我真的很高興我們可以出來見面了;我們真的見面了。

Yeah, it's nice.
對呀,很棒。

Everything okay?
妳還好嗎?

Yeah.
還好。

You look like something's wrong.
妳看起來有點不對勁。

No, I've just never done this before.
沒有,我只是沒做過這種事情。

Um, you've never been on a date?
嗯,妳沒有約會過嗎?

No, I've been on dates. I just never had anyone bring their mom.
不是,我有約會過。我只是沒看過有人把媽媽帶出來約會。

What did she say?
(葡萄牙語)她說什麼?

Nothing. Nothing, Mom.
沒什麼。沒什麼,媽媽。

What is this bitch saying about me?
這個臭女人說我怎樣?

Mom, stop. Stop.
媽,停。停。

What did she say?
她說什麼?

She said you look beautiful.
她說妳看起來很漂亮。

So, do you always take your mom everywhere?
所以你去哪裡都會帶著你媽媽嗎?

I don't really have a choice.
我其實沒有選擇的餘地。

Do you like my son?
妳喜歡我兒子嗎?

Mom.
媽。

Well, this is our first date, so...
這是我們第一次約會,所以...

You're gonna get married?
你們要結婚嗎?

Mom!
媽!

What?
什麼?

Are you Catholic?
妳信天主教嗎?

Uh, no. I actually, I don't believe in God.
呃,不是。我其實,我不相信上帝。

What? Who do you think created Earth?
什麼?妳覺得是誰創造地球的?

The Big Bang theory.
大霹靂理論。

What? The TV show? Are you crazy? Where do you come from?
什麼?那齣電視劇?妳瘋了嗎?妳哪裡人?

I'm from Australia.
我是澳洲人。

They don't have God in Australia? What they have? A kangaroo? You believe...they believe in kangaroo?
澳洲沒有上帝嗎?不然有什麼?袋鼠嗎?妳信...你們是信袋鼠喔?

Sorry?
什麼?

Can we just please relax, please?
拜託,我們可以冷靜一下嗎?

Rudy, she's not Latina. She doesn't believe in God. She has problems!
(葡萄牙語)Rudy,她不是拉丁美洲人。她也不相信上帝。她有毛病!

Mom, stop, stop! Mom, stop, please. I'm sorry. You have to understand she's from a different culture. She's older.
媽,停、停!媽,夠了,拜託。我很抱歉。妳得理解她的文化和我們不一樣。又比較老。

Not old, bitch!
不老好嗎,賤人!

Mom! What the f***, man?
媽!妳他*的在幹嘛?

Can I get you guys some drinks?
你們要來點飲料嗎?

Yes. I'll take a—
要。我要點--

He's gonna have a Coke; I'm gonna have water; she's—
他要一杯可口可樂;我要水;她要點--

Um, no, I can order for myself. Thank you very much. Just a glass of white wine, please.
呃,不,我可以自己點。非常感謝妳。一杯白酒就好,謝謝。

She's an alcoholic.
她是酒鬼。

Be right back with that.
很快就為您上飲料。

Thank you.
謝謝。

Now look at this face.
看我兒子多帥。

Mom.
媽。

Look how beautiful. Why your face look so skinny? Are you hungry?
看看你的小臉多漂亮。你的臉怎麼那麼消瘦?你餓了嗎?

No, Mom.
不,媽。

Hold on.
等一下。

Stop, I'm not hungry. What are you doing? I'm not— Oh my God, Mom. What the f*** are you doing, Mom?
夠了,我不餓。妳在幹嘛?我不--我的天,媽。媽,妳他*的在幹嘛?

Eat something, eat something.
吃點東西、吃點東西。

Mom, stop, stop, stop!
媽,停、停、停!

Wow.
哇。

What do you do, girl?
小妞,妳做什麼工作?

Her name is Maia, Mom.
她的名字是 Maia,媽。

Maia.
Maia。

Yeah, it's Maia. M...a...i...a. It's Maia.
對,Maia。這樣拼,M...a...i...a。我叫 Maia。

This is a name?
這是個名字?

And I'm an actress.
我是演員。

An actress. That's all you need. Another actress.
演員。你就愛這種的。又一個演員。

Mom.
媽。

You don't like to work? You don't like a real job? Like to be a lawyer, to be a doctor, to be a teacher...
妳不喜歡工作喔?妳不喜歡真正的工作?像是去當律師、當醫生、當老師...

She really just asked me that?
她真心問我這種問題?

Who's gonna cook for my boy? Who's gonna clean for my boy?
誰來幫我的寶貝兒子煮飯?誰來幫我的寶貝兒子打掃?

I think he can do both of those things for himself.
我覺得那兩件事情他都可以自己做。

Let me teach you something: Men work; women cook.
我來教教妳:男人工作;女人煮飯。

Okay, what if I told you that the man cooks and the woman works?
好,那如果我告訴妳我覺得是男人煮飯,女人工作呢?

She's alcoholic.
她是酒鬼。

Maybe you could raise your kids so they don't turn out to be pathetic mama's boys.
也許妳可以好好養育妳的小孩,他們才不會變成可悲的媽寶。

She's crazy. Isn't she crazy, Rudy?
她瘋了吧。她瘋了對不對,Rudy?

No, actually she's right. I'm sorry, Maia. I'm sure this is not what you expected tonight. I'm sorry. Mom, I love you, but you gotta change. You can't be like this anymore. You understand?
沒有,其實她是對的。Maia,我很抱歉。我知道今晚和妳期待的差很多。我很抱歉。媽,我愛妳,但妳得改變。妳不可以再一直這個樣子了。妳懂嗎?

Listen! Say "I'm sorry!"
給我聽好!說對不起!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
對不起!對不起!

Say "I'm sorry!"
說對不起!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
對不起!對不起!

Say again!
再說一次!

I'm sorry.
對不起。

Say again!
再說一次。

I'm sorry.
對不起。

Maybe we should call it a night, huh?
也許我們今天就先到這邊結束吧?

No, no, wait, Maia. Maia, wait. Look, I really like you, okay?
不、不,等一下,Maia。Maia,等等。聽著,我真的很喜歡妳,好嗎?

No, he doesn't.
沒有,他不喜歡妳。

Yes, I do. And I try—
沒有,我真的很喜歡。我想要--

She's not Latina.
她不是拉丁美洲人。

Mom.
媽。

She doesn't believe in God.
她也不相信上帝。

Mom!
媽!

Just give me a call when you're not with your mom, okay?
等你媽不在旁邊的時候再打電話給我吧,懂?

No...
不是...

Don't worry. I'm gonna find a beautiful Latina girl. Here. Eat this.
不要擔心。我幫你找個漂亮的拉丁美洲女孩。來。吃這個。

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