Now, I know what you really came for: taking Halloween candy away from children. Well, this is our sixth year of doing this. And for the first time in those six years, I have a trick-or-treater living in my house. My daughter turned two in July. We dressed her as a monkey last night, and we went around the block. She was very excited about the candy, even though she doesn't know the difference between lollipops and popsicles—we had to explain that. But she was—Jane was very happy last night. She woke up this morning in a snippy mood, and she also is at the age where she says no to everything. So I decided this was the perfect time to tell her I ate all her Halloween candy. Wait a minute. Your reaction confuses me, but here's how that went.
Hey, Jane. You're already in a bad mood?
It's about to get worse.
Do you remember when we went trick-or-treating last night?
That was fun, right?
Do you remember all the candy we got?
Well, Daddy ate all of it.
Yeah, he did.
I ate all your Halloween candy.
It has dirt in that.
It has dirt in that?
Yeah, there's a little bit of dirt in there. But Jane, you're missing the point.
It's not about the dirt.
Your father ate all your Halloween candy.
And it was delicious.
No, it's not.
Were you dressed as a monkey last night?
You were. Yeah.
Are you gonna contradict everything I say?
I wanna...I want go get pancakes.
All right, pancakes, those I can get you.
You want pancakes. All right. I'll try again later.
Hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel. If you like that, click the subscribe button below, and good things will happen forever.
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