You know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, "No divorces in '99!"
But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Just the one divorce in '99!
You know what? I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Do you want us to leave the room, or...?
Every day, I am gonna do one thing I have never done before. That, my friends, is my New Year's resolution.
That's a good one.
Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
That's a good one, too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, you know what? Better yet, a week.
我要跟你賭 50 美元，賭你不可能一整年不嘲笑我們。你知道嗎？縮短一點好了，一個禮拜。
I'll take that bet, my friend.
And you know what? Paying me the 50 bucks can be the "new thing you do that day." And it starts right now!
那你知道嗎？付給我 50 美元就是「你那天會做的新嘗試」喔。現在才開始!
My New Year's resolution is to learn how to play guitar.
Really? How come?
Well, you know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it if one of those was true.
Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
Oh, really? Who have you taught?
Well, I taught me, and I love me.
Oh, that'd be great. Yeah, thanks, Pheebs.
Oh, look. Claire forgot her glasses. And she's gonna really be needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, from what I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Hey, Rach, maybe your resolution should be to, um, gossip less.
What? I don't gossip. What? Maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on, you know, kind of like a public service? That doesn't mean I'm a gossip! I mean, would you call Ted Koppel a gossip?
什麼？我才不會八卦咧。傻眼!有時候我只是發現某些事情或聽到一些事情，然後我只是把訊息傳播給大家而已，就有點像為大眾服務好嗎？那才不代表我很愛講八卦咧!你會覺得新聞主播 Ted Koppel 很八卦嗎？
Well, if Ted Koppel talked about his coworker's botched boob jobs, yeah, I would.
如果 Ted Koppel 到處討論他同事隆乳手術失敗的話，我就會覺得他很八卦。
What? They were like this!
註一：原文將 stapler（釘書機）引申為男性生殖器，desk drawer（抽屜）引申為褲子，也就是說她男友需要克制一點，不要再劈腿了。