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「學這招傾聽技巧,讓你在職場上無往不利」- Workplace Communication: Listening Skills


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Stephen Covey wrote a book called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People few years ago. Some of you may be familiar with it. He had a lot of really great stuff on listening in his book. Amongst that, he had five...he identified five levels of listening.
Stephen Covey 幾年前寫過一本叫做「高效率人們的七種習慣」。你們某些人可能對那很熟悉。他在書裡有許多關於傾聽真的很棒的東西。在那之中,他有五個...他訂定傾聽的五個等級。

Now the first three levels are kind of waffling. None of you should be listening at that level. It's the last two—active and empathic listening—that I want to talk about.
現在前面三個等級有點不清不楚的。你們之中沒有任何一人應該要以那種等級傾聽。最後兩個--積極和同理傾聽--正是我想要談論的。

Active listening is when you are actively engaged, so you might be asking questions; you might be nodding; you might be making listening sounds, uh huh, uh huh, hmm...that's interesting.
積極傾聽是當你正積極投入時,所以你也許會問問題;你也許會點頭;你也許會發出在傾聽的聲音:嗯哼、嗯哼、嗯...那很有趣。

And paraphrasing is also involved in active listening. Paraphrasing is great, because when you repeat the words back to someone that they have said in your own words, it gives them a chance not only to clarify but also to let them know that you're listening. So active listening is nice.
改述同樣也包括在積極傾聽中。改述很棒,因為當你用自己的話向某人覆述他剛剛說過的話,這給了他們不只能澄清的機會、還能讓他們知道你在傾聽。所以積極傾聽很好。

But Covey says we should be working towards the big one—empathic listening—and that is listening with your left and your right brain. Now what that means is listening with your left brain for the words, and listening with your right brain for the emotion.
但 Covey 說我們應該要朝向更重大的那一種去努力--同理傾聽--那是用你的左腦和右腦傾聽。現在那表示用你的左腦傾聽話語,並用你的右腦傾聽情緒。

So if you listen with your right brain, you might hear things in body language. So, it's my son. You might hear things like tension in a voice, tiredness in the slump of a shoulder. If you learn to listen for emotion, you're gonna pick up a whole heap more information.
所以如果你用你的右腦傾聽,你也許會聽到肢體語言中的內容。所以,那是我兒子。你也許會聽出像是聲音中的緊張情緒、肩膀垂下中的疲累感的東西。你學會傾聽情緒,你就會得到整個更大批的資訊。

So what do we do about listening? How do we become better listeners? Well, one thing is listen for repetitive words. People repeat the stuff that's important to them. So I feel like I had to ask my husband; I feel like this is sounding really good; I feel like this is the right choice for me, right? Feeling is important to that person. They've also given you some extra information, because if someone is using the word "feeling" a lot, it also means they have quite been on a preference.
所以我們對於傾聽要做些什麼?我們如何成為更好的傾聽者?這個嘛,其中一件事是去傾聽重複的話語。人們重複對他們來說很重要的東西。所以我覺得我好像要去問問我丈夫;我覺得這聽起來非常不錯;我覺得這對我來說是正確的選擇,對吧?「感覺」對這個人來說很重要。他們同樣也給了你額外的資訊,因為如果某人很常使用「覺得」這個字,這同樣代表他們頗偏好使用它的。

People also emphasize stuff that's important to them. I'm gonna snap! I'm at the end of my tether! Listen for emphasis.
人們通常強調對他們來說重要的事物。我要發瘋了!我實在無計可施了!傾聽強調之處。

See? This is the stuff that we can't do if we're doing all the talking.
So if you listen through a repetition, listen for emphasis, you're going to start honing in on the stuff that's really important to them.
看到了嗎?如果我們全都在說話,這就是我們做不到的事。所以如果你傾聽重複、傾聽強調之處,你會開始專注於對他們來說確實很重要的事物上。

Try and focus on the big picture, and this is particularly when you're with people who ramble a lot, you know, people live in a stream of consciousness—I'm sure you know the one—the person who comes in and says, "Hi, I'm thinking about going on a trip to Bali, because bikini stores at the Bali was really great. And I was gonna get to Seminyak, because I heard it's got all the bars and all the fun over there. But, you know, my boy sort of likes surfing, so I thought that maybe we should go to Dekuta. In fact, Terry's been surfing since he was six. You should see him. Can I show you the photos? I was thinking about going to Phuket." Right, you know the ones I'm talking about?
嘗試並專注於重點上,而這特別是當你和很常碎碎念的人在一起時,你知道,生活在意識流中的人--我相信你認識這種人--那種人會進來然後說:「嗨,我在想要去峇里島旅遊,因為峇里島的比基尼商店都很棒。我還要去 Seminyak,因為我聽說那兒有酒吧和所有有趣的東西。但是,你知道的,我兒子有點喜歡衝浪,所以我想也許我們應該去 Dekuta。事實上,Terry 從他六歲就開始衝浪。你應該看看他。我可以給你看照片嗎?我在想要改去普吉島。」好的,你知道我在說的那種人嗎?

Focus on your big picture, get right up in a helicopter and try just to listen for the message.
專注於你的大局面,直接登上直升機然後就傾聽那訊息。

Don't dominate the conversation. You know who you are. People who like to talk too much and like to just throw all their information in, don't dominate.
別主導對話。你知道我在說誰吧。就是那些喜歡說太多話、喜歡就丟出所有他們資訊的人,別主導對話。

If you've ever had a time, and I'm sure you have, because most of us have been through this when you've told a story, you stop your story, and there's just the silence, like crickets chirping on the Simpsons, right? No one was listening. How do you feel? We don't feel good when we're not listened to. So don't dominate. Learn to harness yourself and stop and listen.
如果你曾有過這種時候,我確信你們都有,因為我們大多人都經歷過這個,當你講了一個故事,你停下你的故事,然後那裡就一片寂靜,像是辛普森家庭(卡通)裡只有蟋蟀唧唧叫的樣子,對吧?沒人在聽。你感覺如何?當沒人傾聽時,我們感受很差。所以不要主導。學習控制自己,並停下來傾聽。

Finally, listen without judgement. It's a really difficult thing to do, because we tend to, as human beings, we judge. Let someone get that thought out first before you come back to judge.
最後,不帶著意見去傾聽。這是很難做到的事,因為我們傾向於,身為人類,我們傾向於去批判。在你回來評判之前,讓某人先說出那想法。

And finally, Hugh Mackay the social researcher says that listening is a gift, a generous gift that we give the other person, a very respectful generous gift. And if you shut down all the folders in your mind and listen like a lion, and focus on the one person speaking to you, it is a gift. And you equally will get an enormous gift back with all the information that comes your way.
最後,社會研究員 Hugh Mackay 表示傾聽是種禮物,一份我們給予他人大方的禮物,一份帶著敬意非常大方的禮物。如果你闔上腦中所有儲存想法的文件夾,並像獅子狩獵般傾聽,並專注於跟你說話的那一個人身上,這是份禮物。你同樣也會得到一份極大的回禮,帶著送到你面前的所有資訊。

  • 「無計可施」- At The End Of One's Tether

    I'm gonna snap! I'm at the end of my tether.
    我要發瘋了!我實在無計可施了!

  • 「專注」- Hone In On

    So if you listen through a repetition, listen for emphasis, you're going to start honing in on the stuff that's really important to them.
    所以如果你傾聽重複、傾聽強調之處,你會開始專注於對他們來說確實很重要的事物上。

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