Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a beautiful girl who dreamed of finding her prince. Alas, real life is no fairy tale. Here's why Disney princess...
So this is love.
...would make terrible boyfriends.
I'll be your knight in shining armor...if you're hot.
My dad do this party so I can meet a girl who is...
...hot and rich, like us. So, will you marry me?
I think I left my straightener on.
Size 7.5, the girl who fits this is my bae.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, baby. Here is my number, so call me maybe.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... HEY!
What are you doing?
Oh, thank God! I thought you were dead.
Then why would you try to kiss me?
Hold on, don't change the subject. Who are these seven guys texting you?
They're just my roommates.
I want a girl who will tame my inner beast. THAT'S NOT A REQUEST.
So now that we live together, we need to establish a few ground rules.
Actually, I'm a little hungry.
You are not allowed to step foot into that side of the house, especially my room. Ever. It is forbidden.
Okay, does that include the bathroom?
Also, I'm gonna need to know where you are and what you are doing at all times, because sometimes I get lonely. Do this, and I'll release your father from my basement.
You kidnapped my dad?
Who are you talking to?
My dream girl: Loves dogs and long walks on the...what's the word?
Excuse me, Miss. Have you seen my girlfriend?
Eric, it's me.
Oh, yeah, you look familiar, but... Wait, I follow you on Twitter, right?
喔，對，妳看起來有些眼熟，但...等等，我有在 Twitter 上追蹤妳，對吧？
You don't remember the crazy lady you stabbed with a boat for me?
I think I know what the love of my life looks like.
Even your dog knows it's me.
Let me get my dog back. Reina, where'd you go?
Don't know how you do the voodo that you do. So well, it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna HOP, HOP, HOP.
Sorry, babe. Do you think you can spot me?
My parents just cut me off.
No, you need to get a job.
Ha, ha, ha...I got a job. My music.
You woke up like that. You woke up like that. Flawless.
Okay. You know what? Have fun making love to your mini guitar.
It's a Ukelele. And can I at least borrow your car and get home?
Take the bus!
You're so fancy. You already know.
Trust me, I can show you the world...if you give me a magic carpet ride.
Wait. Your name is not Ali?
Prince Ali. No. Aladdin. Yeah, that's me, a compulsive liar, someone who plunders.
Why are you singing?
I told you what you wanted to hear to get inside your cave of wonders.
My cave of what now?
The mansion we slept in was one that I crept in. The way I get laid is through deceit.
Who are you people?
The car that we rode in was one that I stolen, but who needs a ride when you live on the street?
That monkey you swear follows us everywhere is my one and only friend.
You don't meet a guy like me every dynasty.
So yeah, I've had the absolute worst luck with dating lately. What about you?
This is a little awkward. I kind of thought you were a dude.
Yeah, it's just from certain angles. And I mean, your hair's pulled back in these photos.
I have boobs.
Sorry. I guess I made a man out of you.
I have been looking everywhere for you.
You know what? I'm done with Disney princess. Being single never bothered me anyway.
And she lived happily ever after.
Why does this always keep happening to me?
Hey! How're you doing?
Ladies love it when you kidnap their fathers. I'm gonna build her a library, if you know what I mean. And by that, I mean I'm going to actually build a library.
Seriously, who are you talking to?
I'm talking to Lumiere.
我在跟 Lumiere 說話(註二)。