This is crazy. A White House spokesperson has confirmed that President Barack Obama and Mr. Trump have been talking regularly. That's big news story, yeah. And they didn't give any more details than that.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is incredible. We actually got ahold of the audio from several phone calls. Don't giggle! This is real...phone calls between President Obama and President-elect Trump. And I think it's my duty to share these with you.
Barack? It's Trump. You know those gold metals you give out?
Presidential medals of honor?
Yeah, can I give them to anyone I want?
Uh...well, there's a process.
I wanna give one to Guy Fieri and all the girls from the GoDaddy.com commercials—maybe Chewbacca too.
我想頒一個給美國阿雞師還有 GoDaddy 廣告上那些正妹－－或許也要頒給星際大戰那隻楚巴卡。
Quick question: Kazakhstan.
What's your question?
What is it, some kind of a meat dish?
Kazakhstan is a country in Central Asia. It's bordered by China and Russia.
Follow-up question: Do we need it?
So, what do you have in the White House for toilet paper? Cottonelle, Charmin, Angel Soft?
I don't know.
I have to tell you—that Quilted Northern is terrific.
That's not really something I know much about.
Ah, it doesn't...it doesn't matter. I'm gonna fly back to New York for all of my number twos.
Now, how do I make a bill into a law?
Well, first Congress has to pass the bill.
Who's Congress? Am I Congress?
Is Ivanka Congress?
No, she's your daughter.
She's hot, right?
She's a very attractive young lady.
You dog, you. I'm telling Michelle! Put her on the phone.
You know who I think you should call is German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
Angela Merkel? Are you kidding me? I'll call her if I have a boner that needs to go away.
Barack? It's Trump. Another question: The guys in the black robes—
The Supreme Court?
Yeah. Are they like my Severus Snapes? Can they cast spells for me?
Obama, I think there's an owl eavesdropping on our call.
Ha, very good.
Shh! I'm not kidding. I think a spy owl is listening to us.
Donald, you're the one who was telling the joke.
Be quiet, Obama! I'm calling you back on a secure line. I'm onto you, spy owl.