Some of the places we're planning on performing this next year...we're talking about going to Germany. We're talking about going to Bulgaria. And India, India's on the list of new places we're gonna visit.
我們明年計畫要去表演的一些地方...我們在講要去德國。我們在想要去保加利亞。還有印度，印度在我們要去的新地點名單上。
And I'm excited about India. You know when I was telling people in England that we're going to, you know, to India, I had Indian people telling me, "Oh, that's gonna be amazing when you go there. You're gonna enjoy it. You're gonna love it. It's amazing."
我很期待印度。你知道當我在英國告訴人們我們要去，你知道，去印度，有印度人告訴我：「喔，你到那裡的時候會很棒的。你會很享受。你會愛上它。那超棒的。」
And I just stare, and that guy goes, "What are you staring?"
我就直盯著，然後那人說：「你在看什麼？」
I go, "Because your voice doesn't match."
我說：「因為你的聲音和你的臉搭不起來。」
"Oh, you think we all sound like..."
「喔，你以為我們全都聽起來像...」
"I'm sorry. I live in America. Indians over there keep it real."
「不好意思。我住在美國，那裡的印度人都保留原汁原味(註一)。」
I'm sorry!
我很抱歉!
And I have nothing but love and respect for Indian people. I'm gonna tell you something right now. Indian people in the United States are the hardest working people I have ever seen, and that's coming from a Mexican, okay?
而我對印度人只有愛和尊重。我現在要告訴你們一些事。在美國的印度人是我見過最認真工作的人，而那是出自一個墨西哥人(註二)之口，好嗎？
And I'll tell you why I say this. You'll never see an Indian person with a sign that says, "We'll work for food" in the United States. And you'll never see an Indian person committing a crazy crime. Like, when was the last time you heard of Indians robbing a bank?
我要告訴你為什麼我這樣說。你們在美國絕不會見到一個印度人拿著一塊標語寫：「我們為食物而工作」。你們絕不會看到印度人涉入瘋狂的罪行。像是，上一次你聽說有印度人搶銀行是什麼時候？
"Look here, buddy!" "Oh, I can't remember, bro."
「看這裡，兄弟!」「喔，我記不得了，兄弟。」
Because it doesn't happen! First of all, Indian people are so nice, and they're so sweet. And I can't see it. You know, if you're gonna rob a bank, you need authority. You need to come in with guns and blaze, "I say, get your ass on the ground. NOW!"
因為它沒發生過!首先，印度人都超好的，他們超貼心。而我看不出可能性。你知道，如果你要搶銀行，你需要威嚴。你需要帶著槍走進去然後迸出：「我說，給我在地上坐好。馬上!」
I can't imagine, "Would you please take the money?"
我無法想像：「口以請你拿出錢錢嗎？」
"Why are you laughing?"
「為什麼你悶要笑？」
"I am talking to you."
「偶在跟你講話。」
"Forget this. I'm out of here. I don't need this."
「算惹。偶要走了。偶不需要這個。」
He gets in the car. His partner's waiting for him, "Did you get the money?"
他進到車裡。他的夥伴在等他：「你拿到錢錢惹嗎？」
"They would not give me the money!"
「他們不給偶錢錢!」
"Did you show them the gun?"
「你有給他們看槍嗎？」
"I show them the gun!"
「偶給他們看槍了!」
"We better leave. They're going to call the police."
「偶們最好閃人。他們要叫警察惹。」
"They are still laughing."
「他們還在笑偶啦。」
"Where did you get the computer?"
「你從哪裡拿到電腦的？」
"They thought I was tech support!"
「他們以為偶是電腦技師啦!」
註一：這裡是表示美國的印度人說英文時大多保有濃濃的印度腔，而不是一般的美國或英國腔。
註二：墨西哥人的刻板印象是相當懶散。講者Gabriel Iglesias本身就是墨西哥人，這句話主要是要暗示，由懶散的墨西哥人口中說出某人很勤勞時，並不一定中肯。
