I would like to address something that I've been having to deal with for quite some time. This is an issue that I face on an almost daily basis. And this week I've had to deal with it even more because we're in New York. People frequently confuse me with someone else...with another person...a person who isn't me. So, as a public service to me and to the other person, I got in touch with him. And we made a video together that, hopefully, will clear this little headache up once and for all.
Hi. I'm Jimmy Kimmel.
嗨。我是 Jimmy Kimmel。
And I'm Jimmy Fallon. But some people think I'm Jimmy Kimmel.
而我是 Jimmy Fallon。但有些人以為我是 Jimmy Kimmel。
And some people think I'm Jimmy Fallon. And it's causing a lot of problems for us at the airport, so we decided to make a quick video to explain who is who, and what's what.
而有些人以為我是 Jimmy Fallon。這讓我們在機場遇到了很多麻煩，所以我們決定拍個簡短的影片來解釋誰是誰。
Know Your Jimmys
分辨 Jimmy 們
And we understand why people get us confused. The names. We both wear suits. Both have shows.
Both have dark hair. Both white guys, which is not as exciting as it used to be.
But the truth is, we're very different Jimmys in a lot of ways. For instance, I was born in Brooklyn, New York.
Oh! I was born in Brooklyn, too.
Okay. So, not a great example by me. But we're different. Like, what did Jimmy Fallon have for breakfast today?
好吧。那我這個例子舉得不好。但我們不一樣。好比說，Jimmy Fallon 你今天吃了什麼早餐呢？
I had oatmeal with baby carrots on top.
It's what I had. But that's a pretty common breakfast.
Uh...Okay. Count to three. Name your five favorite breakfast cereals. Ready?
Froot Loops, Lucky Charms, Frosted Flakes, Count Chocula, Trix.
香果圈、幸運符彩虹棉花糖、香甜玉米片、Count Chocula 穀片、Trix 穀片。
What the f—
Well, they're very popular breakfast cereals, so that doesn't really...
It's like...uh...like pizza's everyone's favorite for lunch.
Well, it certainly is mine.
Mine too. I love pizza.
In fact, I'm wearing pizza underpants right now. Look at this. Look. Here.
Did you say nipples?
你剛是說 ㄋㄟ ㄋㄟ 嗎？
Why would you say that?
Oh. I say it all the time.
Have you had a DNA test? Because I just did a 23andMe.
你有做過基因檢測嗎？因為我剛做了 23andMe 的基因檢測。
Yeah. I have, actually.
Turns out I'm 100 percent "that bi*ch."
High-five on that!
Sorry. I'm bad at high-fiving.
I'm bad at high-fiving too. I mean...Yesterday, I had tried to high-five somebody, and I poked the lady in the eye.
Wait a minute. Was she about this tall? Russian lady?
I poked her other eye.
Oh my Lord.
Oh! Hold on. I know how we're different. Do you believe the earth is flat?
I know it's flat. I walk on it.
Holy shift-stick-on-a-1982-Pontiac Grand Am!
去你的 1982 年龐帝克格蘭美的排檔桿啊!
That was your first car, too?
When I was a baby, I absorbed my twin brother in the womb.
So did I. His name is Larry.
Mine was Laurence, so...
Oh my God!
Who are you?
I don't know...
Do you have any tattoos?
We both have a tattoo of Tattoo?
我們都有 Tattoo 這個角色的刺青啊？
You know, I'm think I'm starting to understand why this is so hard for everybody. We're like the same person. I mean...unless you like...
Oh, no. He is the biggest loser...in the world!
Can I see you in the bathroom for a second? I wanna show you something.
You have a small penis too?
A message from The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints
I still can't tell us apart. Well, thanks to Jimmy Fallon or me or whichever one of us that was.
我還是無法分辨我們倆耶。好啦，感謝 Jimmy Fallon，還是是要感謝我啊，反正感謝剛剛看到的那位。
I am Jimmy Kimmel, and I am not allowed to eat this cookie until you click the subscribe button, so please click now. I'm hungry.
我是 Jimmy Kimmel。在你訂閱我的頻道前，我都不能吃這塊餅乾，所以拜託你快訂閱吧。我餓了。