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「【週五笑一下】跟著 Jimmy Kimmel 到辛普森家作客」- Homer Simpson Gives Jimmy Kimmel a Tour of Springfield


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Another very popular long-running television show is reaching a milestone this weekend. On Sunday night, the 600th episode of the Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror XXVII, which is amazing. The Simpsons is one of the greatest shows of— Did you feel that? What's...what's happening?
另一個非常受歡迎的長壽電視節目這週末將抵達一個里程碑。星期天晚上,《辛普森家族》第六百集,《恐佈樹屋 XXVII》,太不可思議了。《辛普森家族》是最棒的節目之一-- 你們有感覺到嗎?什麼...發生什麼事了?

Stupid TV! Be funnier!
蠢電視!給林北好笑點!

Hey! Stop that!
嘿!住手!

I wanna see singing in a car. That's all anyone wants to see!
我想看在車上唱歌(註一)。大家都只想看那個!

Hey! Are you Homer Simpson?
嘿!你是荷馬‧辛普森嗎?

Are you with the IRS or Applebee's security?
你是國稅局的人還是餐廳保全嗎?

I don't think so.
不是呦。

Then, yes.
那麼,我是荷馬。

This is great! You know, I've always wanted to visit you here.
這真是太棒了!你知道嗎,我一直都想來這拜訪你。

Why? Are you here to kill me? Oh God! You're here to kill me!
為啥?你是來這殺我的嗎?天公伯!你是來這殺我的!

No! I'm not here to kill you. The Simpsons are one of the most popular families in the world.
不!我才不是來殺你的。辛普森一家是全世界最受歡迎的家族之一。

I knew it! In your face, Jesus family!
我就知道!怎樣啊,耶穌一家!

I'd love to see Springfield.
我想看看春田市。

Come on! I'll give you the 50-cent tour. There's the nuclear power plant I work at.
來吧!我帶你來趟超小資導覽。那裡是我工作的核電廠。

Is that okay?
那樣沒問題嗎?

Eh, not my shift.
捏,不是我值班。

Wow! Moe's! It's even more depressing than I imagined.
哇!老莫酒館!這裡比我想像的還要讓人絕望耶。

Yeah! Who needs direct sunlight?
對啊!誰需要陽光直接照進來啊?

Aw, that's cute. He's an alcoholic! The chalkboard!
噢,真逗人。他是個酒鬼!黑板!

"I will not make celebrities read mean tweets."
「我以後不會叫名人念惡意推文(註一)。」

And this is baby Maggie. If you drop her, she'll get you back.
這是奶嘴妹。如果你摔到她,她會報復你的。

Aw, how old is she?
噢,她幾歲?

I never ask a lady her age.
我永遠不會問一位小姐她的年齡。

Yeah, but she's been a baby for a while. Have you ever cleaned this pacifier?
嗯,不過她已經是嬰兒好一陣子了。你有沒有洗過這個奶嘴啊?

Hey! Don't judge me just because I never wash the pacifier or know how old my daughter is. All that matters is I love my family very much—except him.
嘿!不要只因為我從沒洗過奶嘴或是搞不清楚我女兒幾歲就評斷我。唯一重要的是我非常愛我的家人--除了他以外。

Am I dead yet? Uh...no.
我死翹翹了嗎?呃...沒死。

Wow, this was great. Thank you, Homer. I have to get back to the show now, but I really appreciate it.
哇,這真的太棒了。荷馬,謝謝你。我現在得回節目裡了,不過我真的很感謝這一切。

What? But you've only seen the power plant explode once!
什麼?不過你才看到發電廠爆炸一次而已耶!

Maybe next time. And if you ever need me, I'll always be in there.
下次吧。如果你需要我,我會一直在那裡面。

Mmm...TV, a beautiful distraction from the certainty of death.
嗯...電視,人一定會翹辮子,電視可以讓你分心。

Bye, Homer.
再見,荷馬。

Bye, one of the Jimmys!
掰啦,其中一個叫吉米的人!

Did I look cute? Well, thanks for the hospitality, Homer. Episode 600, Treehouse of Horror XXVII, is Sunday night on Fox.
我看起來可愛嗎?那麼,謝謝你的熱情招待,荷馬。第六百集,《恐怖樹屋 XXVII》,星期天晚上就在福斯電視台。

Do you love clicking buttons and subscribing to things? Then click the button to subscribe to my channel, and you'll finally be happy.
你喜歡按按鈕和訂閱東西嗎?那麼按下按鈕訂閱我的頻道,你就能終於感到開心囉。

(註一) 此處是指另一位脫口秀主持人 James Corden 的節目 Carpool Karaoke。
(註二) Jimmy Kimmel 的節目中有一個單元為 Mean Tweets,就是請名人上節目念出網友在 Twitter 上的惡意推文。

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