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「表情符號開會啦!原來 emoji 們有那麼多不能說的秘密」- The New Emojis Have a Meeting


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Hello, my fellow emojis! Glad you could all make it to this "recently used" press conference. Uh, we have some pizza and bread and ramen and beer if anyone wants any. As you know, we've made some changes recently, and I just wanted to announce that it's been a resounding success! I wanna thank everyone for their patience during this transitional period.
哈囉,我的表情符號同胞們!很高興你們都能來到「最近常用符號」的記者會。呃,我們有些披薩、麵包、拉麵還有啤酒,如果有人想來點的話。如你們所知,我們最近做了些改變,而我只是想宣布那非常成功!我要感謝所有人在這段過渡期中的耐心。

Transitional period? Are you calling racial integration a "transitional period"?
過渡期?你是說族群融合是「過渡期」嗎?

Um, well...yes? I mean—
嗯,這個嘛...是的?我的意思是--

My people did not exist before last week.
我的同胞到上個星期前都是不存在的。

Yes, I can't imagine how hard that was. We're just...trying to work out a lot of things. We added a lot of African-American versions!
是的,我無法想像那有多難受。我們只是...我們試著解決很多事。我們新增了許多非裔美國人版本!

Exactly. We're more than just the black version of the existing white emojis. I personally still feel very underrepresented.
就是這樣。我們不只是現有白人表情符號的黑人版本。我個人還是覺得沒有被好好表現出來。

I have the exact same problem. There's only one kind of poop!
我有同樣的問題。便便就只有一種樣子!

Say what?
說什麼啊?

I mean, if we're being honest, poop comes in all shapes and sizes. And we're only represented by my cartoonish dollop.
我是說,如果我們老實講,大便可是有各種形狀和大小。不過我們就只有用大家愛的卡通版一坨屎呈現。

That is not the same thing.
那是兩碼子事。

Well, our family unit couldn't even express our outrage until now!
我說,我的家庭到現在才能表達我們的憤怒!

But hey! Now you can!
不過,嘿!你們現在可以啦!

Yeah! Why do all families have to be yellow?
對啊!為什麼每個家庭都要是黃色的?

But this is a start, right? Also, what's wrong with being yellow?
但這是個開始,對吧?還有,黃色有什麼不好?

Same situation with me—no green poops! No bloody poops!
我這也一樣--沒有挫青屎!沒有血便!

Or like a...like a green alien, maybe?
或像是...像是可能可以有綠色外星人?

I am unclear on what my job is.
我不清楚我的工作是什麼。

Guys, one at a time! Yes, you!
大家,一個一個來!好,就是妳!

I just wanted to say thanks for making more versions of myself.
我只是想謝謝你們做出更多個我的版本。

Oh, that's great! Yes. You are quite welcome.
喔,那很好!嗯。不用客氣。

It's amazing. I have a me looking normal, a me looking sad, a me getting my hair cut, and even a me getting my hair washed.
這太棒了。我有一個正常的我、一個傷心的我、我在剪頭髮,甚至還有我在洗頭呢。

Well, we wanted to make sure you had as many choices as you needed.
嗯,我們想確保你們有足夠選擇能滿足需求。

Yeah, totally! But it would've been nice to have some women with actual jobs, though.
對啊,真的!不過如果能有些有真正工作的女人會很不錯。

What? We included a ton of jobs, like dancer, and, I guess, twin bunny dancers and...princess could be one...bride? You know what? You might be right about that one. We will certainly work on that.
什麼?我們納進了很多工作耶,像是舞者,還有,我想是雙胞胎兔女郎舞者,還有...公主也算一種工作...新娘?妳知道嗎?妳可能是對的。我們絕對會改進。

I think you guys are blowing this out of proportion.
我覺得你們大家都太小題大作了。

Who do you think you are?!
你以為你誰啊?!
Seriously?
有沒有搞錯?

Dude, I do not need your help.
老兄,我不需要你的幫忙。

What if we want more than two kids?
萬一我們不只想生兩個小孩咧?

Yeah!
對啊!

Why am I purple?
我為什麼是紫色的?

It's unfair that cats get to express themselves so fully on here and dogs don't.
貓可以那麼充分表達自己但狗卻不行真是太不公平了。

What am I?
我是啥?

I mean, there's two red devil masks but no smiley red devil?
我是說,有兩個紅魔鬼面具但卻沒有笑臉紅魔鬼?

What if I wanted heart eyes?
萬一我想要愛心眼睛呢?

And why don't we have taco?
我們為什麼沒有墨西哥捲餅?

What about maybe half a sun?
或許可以有個一半的太陽?

That's enough! Please! We are trying! When those Japanese guys came up with us, I don't think they even thought of race, gender equality, or same-sex marriages. They just thought this would be a fun way to communicate. We're trying to take steps in the right direction, but no! I don't know why there are 12 trains, or what the flags are, or why there are no tacos... So you're right! Emojis are far from perfect.
夠了!拜託!我們在努力了!當那些日本人想出我們的時候,我不認為他們有想到種族、性別平等或同性婚姻。他們只是覺得這樣溝通會很好玩。我們在試著往正確的方向邁進,不過,不!我不知道為什麼有十二種火車,或那些旗子是什麼,或為什麼沒有捲餅... 所以你們說得對!表情符號一點也不完美。

Uh..."those Japanese guys"?
呃...「那些日本人」?

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