Oh, thank you all for joining me for an evening of conversation and vittles. Now, please let me introduce you to Dianne Diamonds, the diamond queen of North America; professional basketball player and great man of excess, Ricky Campbell; Princess Winifred of Monaco; tech billionaire, Mark Zuckerberg; the ghost of Andrew Carnegie; and, of course, Grant.
噢，感謝你們大家今晚跟我一同交流談話與享受美食。現在，請讓我為你們介紹 Dianne Diamonds，北美的鑽石皇后；職業籃球選手、土豪哥，Ricky Campbell；摩納哥溫妮費德公主；科技億萬富翁，馬克．祖克柏；安德魯．卡內基的鬼魂；當然還有，Grant。
Hi. Hey. So, are we thinking separate checks?
Thank you all so much for joining me this evening.
This is quite the establishment, Van Horn.
There's nothing on the menu less than 60 dollars.
菜單上沒有東西是低於 60 美元的。
Yeah. So, separate checks?
Oh, let's get a whole bunch of things and share.
You know, I'm actually not that hungry.
Oh, that'll be, like, easy.
Guys, I am super excited to be hanging out with all of you. I just don't make as much money as you. So, if we could take it easy on the old wallet, that'd be great.
Can I start you all off with a beverage?
Cocktails before wine?
I do love spirits.
I'm actually great with just water.
How about some champagne? You know, for the table?
Yes, two bottles, please. I love champagne.
Yeah, you know, I'll tell you what, Dianne, champagne is actually a marketing scheme. But you know what's great? Good ol' beer, huh? Bottle of suds? You and your buds?
We're celebrating! Another night with friends!
And for dinner this evening?
Oh, shall we start with the oyster sabayon?
You know what I bet is great—the bread.
Yes. Give me your most expensive bread.
Let's get the ghost peppers!
All I know is I want truffles on everything.
You know, I actually don't like truffles.
So, truffles on one; no truffles on the other.
That's not what I meant.
Now, what were we discussing? Oh, yes. Which credit cards have the best benefits?
I have a debit card and the card they give you when you're at credit risk.
I don't understand.
Grant, you know, I know what it's like to have money problems.
It sucks, right?
You know, I had no idea how little 500,000 dollars a year was. I'm in poverty. I had to kill all of my animals.
I eat office cereal for lunch.
Grant, if you're worried about saving money, you should buy, instead of rent. The Fed is going to raise rates.
I have 110 dollars in my checking account.
我的戶頭裡只有 110 元美金耶。
Grant, if you're having money problems, come to my place for vacation.
I can't take the time off work.
Your boss won't let you?
No. I need the money.
Your boss won't just give you the money?
What do you think work is?
And of course, I book 40 airline tickets a year with the Black Card; they let you name a plane. I've named seven of them—all Seabiscuit.
當然啦，我用黑卡一年就訂了 40 張機票；他們讓你為一架飛機命名。我已經為七架飛機取過名－－全部都叫 Seabiscuit。
Anything else, folks?
It's just getting so expensive.
You know what's cooler than one dessert?
Do not say—
A billion desserts.
I thought dinner was to die for.
Carnegie, you don't always have to be "on." You know?