In 1492, Christopher Columbus, along with his three ships, the Nina, the Pinata, and the Saint Maria, sailed the big ocean blue and discovered America. But I mean there were already people here, and he still called them Indians because he thought, "Okay, this must be India."
西元 1492 年，克里斯多福·哥倫布帶著三艘船，尼尼亞號、平塔號和聖瑪利亞號，橫越汪洋並且發現了美洲。但那裡早就有人住了，結果他還稱當地人是印度人，因為他覺得：「好喔，這裡一定是印度的啦。」
People didn't ridicule him because he thought the world was flat. No, they ridiculed him because Chris thought the distance from Asia to Portugal was only 2,400 miles. When in actuality, it was 10,000 miles away, not to mention there was a huge freaking continent between them. It just makes you wanna say, "Boy were they wrong!" And that's the theme of this video!
人們沒有因為哥倫布以為地球是平的而笑他。才不是，他們會笑他是因為哥倫布以為從亞洲到葡萄牙的距離只有兩千四百英里。但事實上，是一萬英里，更別說中間還有一個大到嚇死人的洲陸卡在中間。於是這就讓你很想講：「大錯特錯了!」這就是這支影片的主題啦!
We've come a long way in modern medicine. We have vaccines and X-rays and MRI scanners, and we learned to wash our hands before operations because we didn't use to do that before. Boy were they wrong! Yes, I am going to say that every time. So, obviously, with new discoveries in medicine, we'll realize that some of the things we used to do were wrong. No. Don't put your baby on its back. It could throw up and choke itself. No. Don't put it on its stomach. It can get SIDS. No. Put it on its head.
現代醫學如今已有長足的進展。我們有疫苗、X 光、磁振造影機，而且我們也知道動手術之前要洗手，但我們以前沒這樣做。大錯特錯了!對，我就是每次都要講這句。當然，醫學的新發現會讓我們發現自己之前的習慣是錯的。不行。別讓寶寶躺著。他會嘔吐然後窒息。不行。別讓寶寶趴著。他會猝死啊。不可以。要讓他倒立才對。
And it also comes as no surprise that some of the things that we used to think were helpful,
were actually killing us. One such thing is mercury. You see, we didn't even realize that this stuff might be bad for us until 1926. Before that, we used mercury in everything. Okay, that's an exaggeration. We've been mining mercury since the Roman times and used mercury in paint, in hats, in thermometers. And back in the old days, people who made hats with mercury had a higher chance of getting dementia. And that's where the term "mad as a hatter" came from because they were mad with dementia. And also, just a PSA, we put mercury in the swirly light bulb, so if you break one... Well, it's time to die.
不意外地，某些我們之前認為很有幫助的事物，其實會宰了我們。其中一個例子就是汞。看吧，到 1926 年人們才知道這東西可能有害。在這之前，我們把汞用在所有東西上啊。好吧，這太浮誇了。人們從羅馬時期開始就在挖汞，把它應用在顏料、帽子和溫度計上。在以前的時代，用汞處理帽子毛料的帽匠容易罹患顳額葉失智症。而這也就是「像帽匠一樣瘋癲」一說的由來，他們會瘋瘋癲癲是因為顳額葉失智症的關係。在這裡也提醒一下大家，螺旋燈泡也含汞，所以你如果打破燈泡的話...嗯，就死定了。
And in ancient history, some healers promised that by consuming deadly brews containing mercury, their patients would gain eternal life and the ability to walk on water. No. One of the most famous cases was the Chinese emperor called Qin Shi Huang, who died after ingesting a mercury pill that was supposed to make him immortal. Boy were they wrong!
歷史記載，有些治療師保證病人在喝了致命的含汞飲品後，就能得到永生並且可以行走在水上。才怪。最有名的例子就是中國的皇帝秦始皇，他吞了顆水銀藥丸之後就掛了，但這顆藥丸本來應該要讓他長生不老的。大錯特錯了!
Also speaking of ingesting poisonous food, Europeans thought that the tomato was poisonous.
提到有毒的食物，歐洲人以前認為番茄有毒。
What?
蛤？
So, apparently, rich Europeans ate their tomatoes on pewter plates which, guess what, had lead in them! And because tomatoes are acidic, whenever people ate tomatoes off the plates, the fruit—because they're a fruit, remember—will leach lead from the plate and become poisoned, and then people would eat it and die. And everyone blamed the tomato, but the real killer was right under them the whole time.
有錢的歐洲人都把番茄放在白鑞盤上吃，你猜怎麼著，盤子含鉛啦!因為番茄是酸性食物，一旦人在白鑞盤上吃番茄，這種水果－－因為番茄是水果，記得吧－－番茄會濾出盤子裡的鉛，進而產生毒素，所以人們吃了才會死翹翹。結果大家都把錯怪到番茄頭上，但真正的罪魁禍首始終在番茄底下。
And apparently, there's a story about George Washington, where one of his cooks tried to assassinate him by putting a tomato in his soup. But that didn't work, because they're harmless. And also Snopes said the whole story was false. So...boy were they wrong!
還有另一個跟喬治華盛頓有關的故事，就是有個廚師把番茄放進湯裡想謀殺他。但那根本沒用，畢竟番茄無害嘛。然後 Snopes 網站也表示這整個故事是虛構的。所以...大錯特錯了!
Here's something else. In medieval times, back before we really knew about diseases and immune systems, if someone was sick, doctors would just be like "Ugh, you just got bad blood, man." So what the doctors would do to remedy this would be to slit your wrists and let them bleed all of their blood out. This was called "bloodletting." And also something cool was that it wasn't surgeons doing these procedures. It was barbers—but surgeon-barbers, not the ones who cut hair. And they were called that because they carried big scissors around and cut people's wrists.
還沒完呢。在中古時期，也就是人們尚未真正了解疾病和免疫系統的那段期間，如果有人生病了，醫生的反應大概是這樣：「哎，老兄你的血不乾淨。」所以醫生治療的方式就是割開你的手腕好讓血流出來。這稱為「放血」。而且妙的是這個手續不是外科醫生執行的。其實是理髮師－－但是是外科理髮師，不是幫人剪髮的那種。他們之所以被那樣稱呼是因為他們總是隨身帶著大剪刀割別人的手腕。
And also, according to Wikipedia, that's the reason barbershops have red and white poles in front of them because the red symbolizes blood, and the white, bandages. Or I could be totally wrong. I'm not doing any more research into it. But back to bloodletting...no, it's incredibly stupid. In fact, our blood has white blood cells in it which kill viruses. So...boy were they wrong!
還有，根據維基百科的解釋，這也是為什麼理髮廳門口有紅白旋轉燈的由來，因為紅色代表血，而白色代表繃帶。我可能解釋得不對。我還是別再繼續探討下去了。回到放血這個話題...不了，這個真的超蠢。事實上，我們的血液中含有白血球可以殺死病毒。所以...大錯特錯了!
Okay, what else we got?
好，我們還有啥能講的？
So, do you remember in 10th grade chemistry, when you had to remember all those elements on the periodic table? And remember how you failed that test and thought, "Man! If only the periodic table were shorter and had like four elements, and those elements were earth, water, fire, and air." Well, if you lived in the BC to early 16th century, you wouldn't have had to take that online chem class because you'd've been right!
那麼，你們記不記得在高一的化學課上，你們得背元素週期表上全部的元素？還有考不及格的時候會心想：「天啊，如果元素週期表短一點，而且只有四個元素：土、水、火、氣的話就好了。」這個嘛，如果你是生活在西元前或十六世紀初之前的話，你就不用上網上化學課，因為你根本是對的啊!
And apparently, Aristotle said that there was a fifth element, aether, which according to the second Thor movie, is one of the six infinity stones. And people believed this until this freaking nerd was like "Uhm, actually there's a bajillion elements. And now everyone has to memorize them."
亞里斯多德也提到有第五個元素「乙太」，它在雷神索爾第二部電影裡是六顆無限寶石中的一顆。人們對此深信不疑，直到這個可惡的書呆子講什麼：「嗯哼，其實元素多到數不清喔。大家現在都得背這些東東了呢。」
You know, I wonder what those BuzzFeed articles that are like "Nine Things You Thought Were True but Aren't" would've been like in medieval times.
是說，我其實很好奇 BuzzFeed 網站上的文章標題寫什麼「九件你認為千真萬確但錯誤的事」如果回溯到中古世紀會變成什麼樣子。
