We've all been there before—you're in conversation; things are humming along nicely, and then, out of nowhere, the awkward silence rears its head. At that moment, your mind goes completely blank. You don't know what to say, and you can sense the other person's eyes wandering as they look for someone else to talk to.
我們都有過這種經驗－－你跟他人在聊天；一切都很順利，接著，突然出現一陣尷尬的沉默。此時，你的腦袋一片空白。你不知道該說什麼，你可以感覺到其他人的眼神在游移，想找其他人聊天。
That scenario sucks. So here are five tips to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation again.
這種情況糟透了。所以這邊有五個小技巧，讓你再也不會在聊天時找不到話題。
First, when you find yourself in that situation where your mind has gone blank, play "Reminds Me of." That just means that you look to the environment around you and say, "You know, that reminds me of ..." and then fill in the blank. It's great for opening new conversational threads. And it can also work as a follow-up when someone finishes telling a story, which is how many groups of friends interact all the time. That's because people are drawn to others who they feel are similar to themselves, and related stories can build that bridge. Just be sure not to repeatedly make your story superior to theirs, or else you can feel like one-upping.
首先，如果你發現腦袋一片空白，記得要運用「這讓我想起」這招。意思就是，你可以看看四周環境，然後說：「你知道，這讓我想起...」，然後填入空格。這是一個能開啟對話串的好方式。如果有人講完自己的事情，這也能當成接續的話題，許多朋友群常常會這樣互動。因為人們通常會被與自己相似的人吸引，有共鳴的故事能夠建立起橋梁。只要確認不要總是讓自己的故事顯得很優越，不然會讓別人覺得你自視甚高。
Second, when you ask questions, keep them open-ended as often as possible. So rather than saying, "Oh, you're from Toronto, do you like it there?" you might say, "How do you like Toronto? I'm curious to hear more about it." The former question invites a one-word response and then awkward silence. The latter gets the other person talking about the things that they like, which is going to open up more conversational threads. Also, just remember the rule that every three-year-old knows about conversation, which is that simply asking "Why?" is a great way to get people to open up more. So, when someone mentions that they are a consultant, for instance, you might ask, "Why did you decide to get into consulting?" To be clear, unlike three-year-olds, you don't have to say the word "why" over and over and over. But drilling down into their motivations will often get you a deeper connection in conversation.
第二，問問題的時候，記得盡可能都問開放性問題。所以，與其說：「喔，你是多倫多人，你喜歡那裡嗎？」，你可以說：「你喜歡多倫多的哪個部分？我很好奇，想多知道一些。」前者就只會得到一個字的回應，接著就是一陣尷尬的沉默。後者可以讓另一個人談談自己喜歡的事情，這樣就能開啟更多話題串。還有，只要記住這個每個三歲小孩都知道的對話技巧，就是簡單地問「為什麼？」，這就是一個讓對方繼續講下去的好方法。比如說，如果有人提到自己是個顧問，你可能可以說：「為什麼你決定要做顧問呢？」講明白一點，我們不是三歲小孩，不需要一而再地問「為什麼」。但深究他們的動機往往會讓你在對話中取得更深層的連結。
Third, for the worst-case scenario, when conversation just flat-out stalls, use revival questions. These are non sequiturs that bring conversation back from the dead. Here's three of my favorites. If you're in a new group and conversation dies after initial pleasantries, a great revival question is "How do you guys all know one another?" There's almost always some kind of story that conversation can build from. If you're only speaking to one person, you can say instead, "So, what's your story?" The great thing about this question is that it is so open-ended that the other person will probably guide you toward the topics that they want to talk about, usually responding with something like "You mean, what do I do for work, or what do I like to do for fun?" Their tone of voice and enthusiasm will usually tell you the best angle of conversation to continue with. Lastly, for people you already know well, ask them about their exciting plans for the future. This one is nice because it is endlessly renewable, which makes it great for connecting with people in the office or wherever you work.
第三，最差的狀況就是，對話完全中止，此時就要運用可以讓對話活過來的問題。這些問題跟先前的話題無關，但可以讓對話起死回生。以下是我最愛的三種。如果你是在一個新的團體裡，彼此一陣寒暄之後就沒話題了，這時候可以讓對話再度活絡的好問題就是「你們怎麼認識彼此的？」絕對會有一些故事可以建立新的話題。如果聊天的對象只有一個人，你可以把問題改成：「那你可以說說你的故事嗎？」這是個好問題，因為這個問題開放性很高，對方可能會把你引導到他們想要講的主題上，他們通常會回答說「你的意思是，我做什麼工作嗎，還是說我的興趣是什麼？」他們的語調和熱情通常會讓你知道對話繼續下去的方向。最後，如果對方是你已經很熟的人，問問令他們興奮的未來計畫。這問題很好，因為這個問題能一再提出來，這是個可以和同事建立連結的好方式。
Fourth on the list is to make a complimentary cold read. So, if someone is particularly smiley, you might say, "You look like the type who would be great with kids." Or if they're super strong, you might say, "You look like you're pretty into fitness." If you get it right, they're probably going to open up and tell you more about it. But even if you're wrong, you can talk about what it is that gave you that impression in the first place. Either way, you've got new conversational material to work with.
第四點是讚美式的冷讀術。如果有人總是滿面笑容，你可能會說：「你看起來會跟小孩子處得很好。」或者如果他們的身材超級壯，你可能會說：「你看起來很喜歡健身。」如果你猜對了，他們可能會敞開心胸告訴你更多事情。但即使你猜錯了，你還是可以講為什麼你一開始會有這樣的印象。不管是猜對或猜錯，你都有新的話題可以聊。
And the fifth and final tip is to flip the script so that you're not the one worried about running out of things to say. Instead, allow the other person to move the conversation forward by getting more comfortable with silence. Seriously, three seconds might feel like a long time, but if you can just take a deep breath while maintaining easy eye contact, more often than not, the other person will make a comment or ask you a question. Or if you really want to encourage them to continue, repeat back the last few words that they said. This mirroring invites them to elaborate and can often get people to open up in very powerful ways.
第五點，也是最後一個技巧，就是反轉立場，這樣你就不用當那個擔心沒話題聊的人了。相反的，讓對方繼續話題，你只需要自在面對沉默。真的，三秒鐘的沉默感覺上好像過了很久，但如果你深呼吸一下，一邊保持隨意的眼神接觸，對方往往會做出評論或者問你問題。又或者，如果你真的很想要鼓勵他們繼續講下去，可以重複他們講的最後幾個字。這種重複字詞的技巧會讓他們想要闡述更多，是個讓對方敞開心胸很有效的方式。
So, there you have it—five quick and easy tactics that you can use today to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation. If you like these tips and want more advanced tips, you might want to check out an online course that I created called Charisma University. It has a full hour of my best strategies to become an expert conversationalist, not to mention separate sections on creating amazing first impressions, telling captivating stories, developing rock-solid confidence, and becoming an inspiring leader. You can learn more and join today, if you're interested, by clicking the button now.
好啦，就是這幾點了－－五個簡單快速的小技巧，你今天就可以運用了，讓你聊天時再也不會找不到話題。如果你喜歡這些技巧，並想要學習更多進階技巧，你可以看看我在魅力大學製作的線上課程。裡面有整整一小時的教學內容，我在當中傳授了幾個最佳策略，教大家如何成為聊天專家，更不用說還有獨立區塊，教大家打造完美的第一印象、說出耐人尋味的故事、建立堅定的自信，以及成為激勵人心的領導者。如果你有興趣的話，今天就能加入並學習更多內容，只要點下按鈕就可以囉。
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