Hey, May, free to chat?
嘿，May，有空聊聊嗎？
Sure, what's up?
當然，怎麼了？
How are things between you and Tom lately?
妳和 Tom 最近怎麼樣？
Things are steady. Right now Tom is working quite hard because Tina is about to start school.
很穩定呀。現在 Tom 很認真工作，因為 Tina 要開始上學了。
You better be sitting down for this. I saw a picture of Tom with some other chick and screenshot to send you.
妳最好坐下來面對這件事情。我看到一張 Tom 和另一個女人的合照，我截圖傳給妳看。
The second I saw that image, it was as if someone slapped me in the face. At first, I thought there must be some kind of misunderstanding. But after stalking her Facebook page, it was pretty clear that it wasn't a misunderstanding.
看到照片的當下，我覺得好像有人賞了我一巴掌。剛開始，我覺得其中一定有什麼誤會。但我在 Facebook 上偷偷追蹤她後，發現這很明顯不是誤會。
All of his declarations of love over time came flooding into my mind one after the next. He told me on our wedding day that he would only love me. He even promised my parents to take care of me until the day he dies. How could he do this to me?
這些年來他所有愛的宣言一個接一個湧入腦海。他在婚禮當天告訴我他只會愛我。他甚至還答應我父母會一輩子照顧我。他怎麼能對我做出這種事？
I got a grip on myself and thought hard about what to do next. Should I get in touch with the other woman or wait to talk to him? I decided I'd wait to talk to him. When I had the chance, I asked him about the infidelity in a suggestive way. But that turned into a full-blown argument. He accused me of not trusting him, saying he worked so hard and can't believe he has to come home to this nonsense. Well, what about me? I also work hard to share the load and responsibility. I take care of our daughter, Tina. I look after the house. Whatever I can do, I do because I want our family unit to work.
我讓自己鎮靜下來，努力思考接下來到底該怎麼辦。我應該跟另一個女人聯絡嗎？還是先暫緩並和老公談談？我決定要跟他談談。我找機會用暗示的方式問他出軌的事情。但竟然變成一發不可收拾的爭吵。他責怪我不信任他，說自己工作非常辛苦，沒辦法相信回家後還要面對這種荒謬的言論。呃，那我呢？我也很努力要分擔家庭的負擔和責任啊。我照顧我們的女兒 Tina。我處理家裡內外的事情。只要是我能做的，我都會去做，因為我希望我們家能好好運作。
In the end, I decided to get in touch with the other woman, hoping that she would leave him alone if she knew that he was already married. But her reply was like another slap in the face. She said, "I already knew he was married, but I didn't care. I love him, and I make him happy. I can accept the situation. You're already his wife. What more do you want? Just accept it."
最後，我決定要跟那個女人聯絡，希望她知道他有家室後就會離開他。但她的回答就像另一個巴掌甩在我臉上。她說：「我早就知道他結婚了啊，但我不在乎。我愛他，而且我能讓他開心。我能接受這種狀況。妳已經是他老婆了。妳還想怎麼樣？妳就接受吧。」
Wait. What's going on? How can having a fling be considered as okay? How can having a mistress be totally normal? I just wanna be a part of a family with only one husband and one wife. Does that make me selfish? I really have no clue what to do anymore.
等一下。現在是怎樣？為什麼劈腿會被當成可接受的事情？怎麼能將小三當作完全正常的事情？我只是想擁有一個一夫一妻制的家庭。我這樣很自私嗎？我實在不知道接下來該怎麼做。
I know my decision will have an impact on our daughter. I want her to have a loving family, and I don't want her to lose her father. I don't want her to be hurt. But if I stay and put up with it just for our daughter, she'll have a family where her dad doesn't love her mom. Is that really better for her?
我知道我的決定會對我們的女兒造成影響。我希望她擁有一個充滿愛的家庭，也不希望她失去爸爸。我不希望她受到傷害。如果我為了女兒留下來，容忍這種情況，她就會擁有一個爸爸不愛媽媽的家庭。但這真的對她來說比較好嗎？
So I texted my husband to say I needed to speak with him and told him that if he doesn't show up, I'd take that to be his decision. After we had our argument yesterday, he disappeared and didn't come home to sleep. It's obvious where he spent the night. Before this, when he would tell me that he was busy and that he would be out a lot, I didn't suspect anything, because I trusted him; I believed him.
所以我傳簡訊給我老公，告訴他我必須和他談談，並跟他說如果他沒出現，我就把這個當作他的決定。我們昨天吵架後，他就消失了，晚上也沒有回來睡覺。他昨晚在哪過夜顯而易見。這件事發生之前，當他告訴我他很忙，會常常出門，我都不疑有他，因為我信任他；我相信他。
"I'm going to sleep over at friend's." "I'm going to a conference." "My battery died." "I didn't have signal." Blah, blah, blah.
「今晚睡朋友那喔。」「我要去參加會議。」「我手機沒電了。」「我沒訊號。」什麼什麼的。
I sat and waited for him, really not sure whether he would turn up. But he did. And not just that, but he asked me if things could go back to the way they were. He said that he would respect me as his wife and take care of me and our daughter, but then he added that there may be some days where he goes to see her. He told me that he still loves me and that it was perfectly normal in this day and age to have many homes.
我坐著等他，非常不確定他會不會出現。但他出現了。不只這樣，他還問我能不能回到過去。他說他會尊重我是他的妻子，並且會照顧我和我們的女兒，但他還說了，他有時候可能會去找那個女人。他跟我說他還是很愛我，而且現在這個時代，有很多家庭是很正常的。
I couldn't listen to his selfishness a second longer and told him to shut up! I made my decision right there and then. After all, the day we exchanged vows, I was to be his wife, his only wife. There was no talk of wife and mistress or any other arrangement.
他這種自私的言論我一秒都聽不下去，我叫他閉嘴!我當下立刻做了決定。畢竟，我們結婚交換誓言的那天，我就成了他的妻子，唯一的妻子。根本沒有妻子跟小三共存，或者其他討論空間。
Some time after he left, I got a message on Facebook. I opened the message and it said, "Thank you for letting him go. He told me so long ago already that he was bored with you, but he only put up with you to not lose face even though you were such a boring wife."
他離開一段時間後，，我收到了一則 Facebook 訊息。我點開訊息，上面說：「謝謝妳放他走。他好久以前就告訴我他已經厭倦妳了，但只是為了不要丟臉在忍受妳而已，即使妳是個很無聊的老婆。」
After I saw her message, I was thinking about what to do next. But then, my husband came back to apologize again, but this time, he told me he would end things with her. So I told him to call her right there in front of me. When he did, I heard that other woman crying, pleading that he can love whoever he wanted, but just don't leave her.
看了她的訊息後，我在思考下一步該怎麼做。但那時，我老公回來了，再次跟我道歉，但這次，他告訴我他會跟那個女人結束關係。所以我叫他在我面前打給她。打給她之後，我聽到那個小三在哭，求我老公，她說他想愛誰都沒關係，但是不要離開她。
I cut her off and told her, "Pull yourself together and grow up. You'll still have so many opportunities to meet someone. Why are you so hung up on a guy who's already married?"
我把電話搶過來，跟她說：「妳控制一下自己吧，學著長大好不好。妳還有很多機會可以遇到其他男人。妳幹嘛那麼執著於一個有婦之夫啊？」
Her reply left me speechless.
她的回答讓我徹底無言。
She said, "I'm okay with it."
她說：「我覺得沒關係啊。」
So I told her, "It doesn't matter what you think, because I'm not okay with it. My husband chose me and our daughter over you, so leave us alone."
所以我告訴她：「妳怎麼想根本不重要，因為我不能接受。我老公選擇了我和我女兒，所以妳不要再來打擾我們了。」
I'm really happy these days. I have a warm, loving family together with Tina and my parents. As for my husband, well, ex-husband, I divorced him about two months after that incident. He asked me why I'm still leaving him when I forgave him. But even though I can honestly say with my whole heart that I forgave him and don't hold any grudges, I just couldn't forget it. Actually, I knew I wouldn't forget something like this the day I took him back. But I wanted to teach them both a lesson.
我最近很開心。我和 Tina 和我爸媽一起擁有一個溫暖又充滿愛的家庭。至於我老公，嗯，前夫，那件事發生後的兩個月我就跟他離婚了。他問我為什麼原諒他後還是要離開他。因為即使我能很誠實且真心地說我已經原諒他了，也不再記仇，但我就是忘不掉這件事情。事實上，我和他和好的那天，我就知道我絕對沒辦法忘記這種事情。但我想好好教訓一下他們兩個。
Now you might be thinking, She's so mean. But you don't understand. I feel like I'm broken. The pain, the doubt, it never goes away. I told him I still loved him more than anything—that I wouldn't keep him apart from our daughter, who he can see whenever he wants.
現在你可能會想說，她也太壞了吧。但你們不懂。我覺得我整個人支離破碎。那些痛苦、懷疑，永遠都無法散去。我跟他說我還是非常愛他－－我不會不讓他來看我們的女兒，他什麼時候想來看她都可以。
But I wanted to end things on good terms now rather than hating each other down-the-line. I told him I wouldn't be angry if he met someone else he loved who loved him, too, but that he should not do what he did to me to someone else.
但我想要好聚好散，不想要我們最後恨彼此入骨。我告訴他，如果他遇到一個他愛的，也愛他的人，我不會生氣，但他不應該像背叛我一樣背叛那個人。
Some people learn from their mistakes. But some people really just don't get it and somehow get away with things. Each person has a choice. And I've chosen for it to be this way. I think that with time, our daughter will see that having a father around who doesn't love her mother, a father who won't stop cheating even after I took him back, would be much worse than having a mother who assumes the role of both parents.
有些人會從錯誤中學習。但有些人真的就是學不會，而且還能逃過懲罰。每個人都有選擇。而這是我的選擇。我想隨著時間過去，我們的女兒會明白，有一個不愛媽媽又不斷出軌的爸爸，遠比有個身兼父母雙職的媽媽要糟糕得多。
Things are better this way. I don't care what people say or if they think raising a kid on my own is a failure. Actually, I see it as an achievement. I chose to get myself out of something that made me unhappy. I now make my own happiness, and I can fully be there for my daughter.
事情這樣發展比較好。我不在乎人們怎麼說，或他們是不是認為獨立扶養孩子很失敗。事實上，我覺得這是一種成就。我選擇遠離讓我不開心的事情。我現在創造自己的幸福，也能全心全意為我女兒付出。
What I've learned is that you can love whoever you want as long as no one is getting hurt in the process, whether it's a person that you love, someone else, or even yourself. And the people who truly love you will never hurt you, physically or emotionally. You shouldn't ever have to compromise your integrity or your pride if they really do love you. So don't ever accept getting hurt in the name of love, and never use love to hurt others.
我學到的是，你能愛任何你想要愛的人，只要在這當中沒有人受傷，無論是你愛的人，其他人，或甚至是你自己。而真心愛你的人永遠不會傷害你，無論是身體上或心理上。如果他們真的愛你，你就永遠不需要背棄你的正直或自尊。所以永遠不要接受以愛之名的傷害，且永遠不該用愛傷害他人。
- 「控制自己的感情、使自己鎮定下來」- get a grip on oneself
I got a grip on myself and thought hard about what to do next.
我讓自己鎮靜下來，努力思考接下來到底該怎麼辦。 - 「有短暫的私情」- have a fling
How can having a fling be considered as okay?
為什麼劈腿會被當成可接受的事情？ - 「毫無頭緒」- have no clue
I really have no clue what to do anymore.
我實在不知道接下來該怎麼做。 - 「忍受、容忍」- put up with
But if I stay and put up with it just for our daughter, she'll have a family where her dad doesn't love her mom.
如果我為了女兒留下來，容忍這種情況，她就會擁有一個爸爸不愛媽媽的家庭。 - 「如今、當前、當今」- in this day and age
He told me that he still loves me and that it was perfectly normal in this day and age to have many homes.
他跟我說他還是很愛我，而且現在這個時代，有很多家庭是很正常的。 - 「控制情緒、冷靜下來」- pull yourself together
I cut her off and told her, "Pull yourself together and grow up."
我把電話搶過來，跟她說：「妳控制一下自己吧，學著長大好不好。」 - 「耿耿於懷、記仇」- hold grudges
But even though I can honestly say with my whole heart that I forgave him and don't hold any grudges, I just couldn't forget it.
因為即使我能很誠實且真心地說我已經原諒他了，也不再記仇，但我就是忘不掉這件事情。 - 「與（某人）重歸於好」- take someone back
Actually, I knew I wouldn't forget something like this the day I took him back.
事實上，我和他和好的那天，我就知道我絕對沒辦法忘記這種事情。 - 「和睦」- on good terms
But I wanted to end things on good terms now rather than hating each other down-the-line.
但我想要好聚好散，不想要我們最後恨彼此入骨。
