All right, now, this is something I know many people been looking forward to all year—the results of our annual, beloved tradition, the Halloween Candy YouTube Challenge. This is the ninth time we've done it. Many...I'm told that many of the disappointed kids—from the first time we did in 2011—have now blossomed to become fully-grown disappointed adults. And that's... And I want to say something to those out there who think I do this because I enjoying being mean to kids. That is not—I love kids.
好，我知道這是很多人整年都在期待的－－我們每年最愛的傳統：萬聖節糖果 YouTube 挑戰。今年是這個活動的第九年了。很多...有人跟我說很多失望的小孩（從 2011 年開始）現在長大變成超級失望的大人。那真是...有件事情我得說一下，有些人覺得我辦這活動只是因為我討厭小朋友。不是那樣－－我很愛小孩。
Not only do I love kids, I have written and illustrated a children's book called The Serious Goose. Now, this is not a joke. It comes out December 3. It's available for preorder now. And all the money I make from it goes to children's hospitals here in LA and around the United States. So, please. So, buy this. It looks like this, The Serious Goose. And remember that, for the next five minutes, as we endure the tears of disappointed children in this year's edition of Hey Jimmy Kimmel—I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy.
我不只很愛小孩子，我還寫了一本童書，親自畫插圖，名叫《嚴肅的鵝》。這不是在開玩笑喔。12 月 3 號就能買到了。現在已經開放預購。所有這本書的獲利會捐給洛杉磯和全美國的兒童醫院。所以，拜託。一定要買這本。書本長得像這樣，《嚴肅的鵝》。你們等一下還是要記得這件事情喔，因為接下來五分鐘我們要接收小朋友們失望的眼淚了，隆重鉅獻今年的：嘿 Jimmy Kimmel－－我跟小孩說我把他們的萬聖節糖果全吃光了。
We ate all of your Halloween candy. I'm sorry. Is it okay?
No! Not at all!
And guess what?
We're just joking.
That's the worst Halloween I ever had because of you dumb, stupid mans!
Mama was just too hungry.
I ate all your candy.
I'm gonna call the police.
Why? We hate you! We don't want to live with you anymore!
Oh! Oh...my God!
Why you ate it again?
I ate it all.
I ate it all because I was hungry.
Woah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
I'm joking. I'm joking.
What did you do with my candy right there?
I don't even know what you're saying.
Mommy and Daddy ate all of your Halloween candy. Is that okay?
We ate all of your candy. Will you forgive me?
Yes, but don't do it again. It will make you very sick. You will have to poop all that out!
I'm telling on you, really.
It's not fair!
That's so rude of you. Tomorrow I'm going to eat your stuff! For real. And I'm not getting you no goodies. Just boppy. That's so rude of you.
But I was so hungry.
Well, you got...well, you got eat some vegetables, not candy!
Go! Now! Go! Eat some vegetables! See? You make her upset! Say sorry!
Last night, I got hungry, and I ate all of your Halloween candy.
You're happy that your candy is not gone?
A little bit. But I love you more than candy.
Can I have my bucket?
You just want the empty bucket?
You don't eat people's candy!
Okay. I'm really, really sorry.
You just make me mad. You made me really mad, Mommy.
I said I'm sorry.
Okay, well, thank you. I love you.
I love you, too.
Mackenzie, Jimmy Kimmel told me to do it.
Mackenzie，Jimmy Kimmel 叫我吃掉的。
No, thank you.
Jimmy Kimmel told me to trick you.
Jimmy Kimmel 叫我騙妳的。
It's Jimmy Pickle.
Don't get mad at Mom. It's just Jimmy Pickle. That's his fault.
If I ever seen Jim...um, Jimmy Kimmel, I would punch him in the face.
如果我以後遇到 Jim...，嗯，Jimmy Kimmel，我會揍他的臉。
He deserves it.
What if I do it again tonight?
I'm going to punch him in the wiener.
You ruined my candy.
You have a mouth full of candy right now, and you're crying about more candy.
I'm gonna keep that—
Stop, wait. Chew what's in your mouth. They don't understand you. And now what?
I ate all of it. It's all gone.
It's all gone. He ate it all.
How's that make you feel?
He said "chocolate," "chocolate," okay? All right. Well, sorry, kids. And thanks to all the parents who participated, especially those who recorded their videos horizontally. We really appreciate it here on television.