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「【年節惡夢】老外看東方長輩的經典問候語」- Meet the Parents: Chinese New Year Nightmare


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Oh, my gosh! I'm so excited for Chinese New Year! Didn't you have fun last year? I took you to meet my family. Yes?
天啊!我好興奮要過年了!你去年不是玩得很開心嗎?我帶你去見我的家人。對吧?

No. It was a disaster. I mean, I started messing up right from the start.
不。那是場大災難。我是說,我從一開始就搞砸了。

Shoes...off.
鞋子...脫掉。

Hi, I'm Lili's mother. Hello, Lili.
嗨,我是麗麗的媽媽。哈囉啊,麗麗。

Hi!
嗨!

You no touching my wife!
不准動我老婆!

Yeah, sorry, I forgot to tell you that we don't really hug in our family. But at least you got a red envelope.
對啦,抱歉,我忘了跟你說我家不來擁抱那一套。可是至少你有收到一個紅包啊。

He don't understand our culture. Here, take this hong bao.
他又不懂我們的文化。來來,收下這個紅包。

Yeah, and then your mom asked us a ton of awesome questions and, like, totally embarrassed you.
是啊,然後妳媽就問我們一堆很不得了的問題,讓妳尷尬得要命。

You so thin. You should eat more. By the way, how much money you making?
你有夠瘦的。你要多吃點。對了,你賺多少錢啊?

Uh, I'm in the 15 to 85 thousand range.
呃,我的薪水大概在一萬五千元到八萬五千元之間。

Uh, well, that's too bad. But you're welcome anyway. And you know, um, this is Lili's father. You already met him. Um, this is Lili's auntie...Cici.
呃,這樣啊,那還真糟。不過還是歡迎你來。你知道這是麗麗的爸爸。你已經見過他了。這個,這是麗麗的阿姨...希希。

Hi!
你好!

And this is her cousin Tingting from China.
然後這是她從中國來的婷婷表妹。

This guy doesn't understand our culture. And he doesn't have any money. Are you sure you don't like Mr. Wang's son? And you getting so fat lately. I think that's why you don't get a good man. I mean, look at Tingting! She's so wonder...so beautiful and so talent. Tingting, play us something, play us something.
這個人他不懂我們的文化,也沒有錢。妳真的不喜歡老王的兒子嗎?還有妹啊,妳最近變得好胖。我想妳就是那樣才找不到好男人。我說,看看人家婷婷!她又棒...又漂亮又有才華。婷婷啊,給我們演奏點什麼,表演一下吧。

Yeah, yeah. I guess Tingting was like the "ideal daughter" or whatever.
對啦對啦。我想婷婷就像是「完美女兒」還是什麼的。

And then there were more awkward questions.
然後還有更多尷尬的問題。

So, how long you two have been "friends"? And will you get married soon and buy big house?
那麼,你們兩個「交朋友」多久啦?你們會很快就結婚然後買間大房子嗎?

Don't ask too many questions. You're going to scare him. But, you know, how much money you make exactly?
不要問太多問題啦。你會嚇跑他的。可是啊,你的薪水究竟是多少呢?

Yeah, that...
嗯,那件事啊...

But anyway, don't you wanna see my sweet auntie Cici and have her famous dumplings again?
不過不管啦,你難道不想再看到我親切的希希阿姨然後吃她拿手的餃子嗎?

Auntie made dumplings. They look like gold ingots, so they symbolize wealth and good fortune. Money... Dumplings...
阿姨包了餃子喔。餃子長得像金元寶,所以它們象徵財富和好運。錢錢... 餃子...

Sweet auntie Cici?
親切的希希阿姨?

Yeah.
對啊。

She almost killed me with her knife!
她差點用她那把刀殺了我耶!

Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop... Oops! Dumplings?
我剁我剁我剁... 唉啊!來點餃子嗎?
Oh, come on! Let's just say that she has some sharp knife skills, huh? Huh? But you know what, though? You should be glad you got to hear my dad's stories. He only tells stories to people he likes.
噢,拜託!我們姑且說她刀工犀利了點,如何?如何?可是你知道嗎?你應該要很高興自己能聽到我爸的故事。他只會對有好感的人說故事喔。

When I your age, I climb down the mountain; I swim across the lake; I even walk 15 miles...
我在你這年紀的時候啊,我爬下山;我游過湖;我甚至走十五英里...

Every day!
每天喔!

...every day to school.
...每天那樣到學校。

To getting the education, you know.
你知道,為了受教育哪。

That's not how I would describe it. I think it went a little more like this.
我可不會那樣形容。我想情況比較像這樣。

When the gweilo, you come to my village, we cut...
洋鬼子來的時候,你們來到我村子,我們砍...

Always drink too much.
老是喝太多。

Okay, but I guess there was one thing I said that totally impressed all of them and totally made up for all my blunders.
嗯,不過我想我有說一句話讓大家完全印象深刻,而且全盤彌補了我犯的錯。

Fish in Chinese sounds the same as abundance!
中文的魚聽起來就像有「餘」!

Nian nian you yu!
年年有餘!

Uh...excuse me! That's totally not what happened.
呃...不好意思!事情完全不是那樣。

Fish in Chinese sounds the same as abundance!
中文的魚聽起來就像有「餘」!

Nian...nian...you...yu!
年...黏...憂...鬱!

May you have good luck in the year of the monkey!
猴年行大運!(希小編:狗年旺旺來!)

  • 「搞砸」- Mess Up

    No. It was a disaster. I mean, I started messing up right from the start.
    不。那是場大災難。我是說,我從一開始就搞砸了。

  • 「至少」- At Least

    But at least you got a red envelope.
    可是至少你有收到一個紅包啊。

  • 「彌補、補償」- Make Up For

    Okay, but I guess there was one thing I said that totally impressed all of them and totally made up for all my blunders.
    嗯,不過我想我有說一句話讓大家完全印象深刻,而且全盤彌補了我犯的錯。

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