This is a story about Coleman Sweeney. Coleman, in short, was an asshole. Everyone in his small town knew it. It wasn't that he tried particularly hard to be unpleasant. It just seemed to come naturally to him. Coleman felt like the whole world owed him something, which caused him to regularly ignore the rules of a decent, acceptable society.
這是個關於 Coleman Sweeney 的故事。Coleman，簡單地說，是個混球。他鎮上的每個人都知道。不是說他特別努力要惹人厭。他似乎生來就是那德性。Coleman 覺得好像全世界都欠他，那使得他常常不管禮教社會的規範。
And he hated anything that got in his way.
Go! You got it. You got it. Go! Go, go! You can do it!
And small animals. Even to children, he was an asshole.
Trick or treat!
He was, as they say, born to it. But then, the strangest thing happened...something entirely unexpected—Coleman Sweeney died. A brain aneurysm—well, subarachnoid hemorrhage to be more specific. And it came as he argued over whether extra fries should be included in a 1.99 early bird breakfast, which was a typical Coleman Sweeney play. It was then that Sarah found something completely unexpected—Coleman Sweeney had registered to be an organ donor. Nobody knew what caused Coleman to do it, but there it was...generous and majestic. And that was the day that Coleman went from asshole to hero.
他是，如人們所說，天生混帳。但後來，一件最古怪的事發生了...一件完全出乎意料的事－－Coleman Sweeney 死了。一顆腦動脈瘤－－嗯，更精準地說是蜘蛛膜下腔出血。那發生在他爭辯 1.99 美元的早鳥優惠早餐是否該附薯條時，非常典型的 Colman Sweeney 把戲。就是那時，Sarah 發現一件完全想像不到的事－－Coleman Sweeny 有申請登記成為器官捐贈者。沒有人知道是什麼原因讓他那樣做，不過事實就擺在那...慷慨又偉大。而那就是 Coleman 從混球成為英雄的那天。
You see, his liver went to Stan, a father of two. His heart went to Miranda Morgan, who went on to teach for 25 more years. And his tendons went to Staff Sergeant Donohue, who was able to walk again and would never need to be pushed across the street by his physical therapist. And in a moment of small world irony, his corneas went to his 82-year-old next-door neighbor so that she could finally see the crap that her dog made in the side yard and pick it up.
你瞧，他的肝給了 Stan，一名有兩個孩子的父親。他的心臟給了 Miranda Morgan，她繼續教了 25 年的書。而他的肌腱給了 Donohue 上士，他又能再次行走，再也不用讓物理治療師推他過街了。諷刺的是世界就是這麼小，他的眼角膜給了 82 歲的隔壁鄰居，這樣一來她終於看得見自己的小狗在側院拉的屎，並把它撿起來。
Yes, in life, Coleman was a bona fide asshole, 365 days a year, 24-7. But in death...well, let's just raise our middle fingers and shout, "Up yours, Coleman Sweeney! You're not an asshole...anymore."
沒錯，活著時，Coleman 是個不折不扣的混球，一年三百六十五天，全年無休。不過死後...嗯，就讓我們豎起中指大喊：「去你的，Coleman Sweeney!你不是混球...再也不是了。」
Even an asshole can save a life.