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「蟲蟲危機,誰該負責?!」- Weird Things Couples Do When There's a Spider


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What? Geez, what is it?
什麼?唉啊,怎樣了啦?
There's a...
有一隻...
Come on, use your words.
拜託,妳講清楚點。
Spider!
蜘蛛!
Oh, come on.
噢,妳嘛幫幫忙。
No, no, this is different. This is huge.
不,不,這隻不一樣。這隻超級大的。
Yeah, that's a really big f**king spider.
沒錯,那真的是隻夭壽大的蜘蛛。

Oh, wow, that's a big one. What do you wanna do now?
喔,哇嗚,那真是很大一隻。妳現在想怎麼辦?
I don't know.
我不知道。
Why are you whispering?
妳幹嘛用氣音說話?
I don't know. It just feels right, you know?
我不知道。只是這樣感覺比較妥當,你知道的?
What are you doing?
你在做什麼?
Taking a picture of it, I wanna look it up.
把牠拍下來,我想查查看。
What for?
為什麼?
To see if it's poisonous.
查看看牠是不是有毒。
Oh, it's not poisonous.
噢,這才沒有毒咧。
How do you know?
妳又知道了?
Because we don't live in Congo. Just get rid of it, okay?
因為我們又不住在剛果。就趕快把牠解決掉,好嗎?
Wait. Why do I have to get rid of it?
等等。為什麼是我得解決掉牠?
Because...you're the man.
因為...你是男子漢啊。

Here, it should do it.
來了,這應該行得通。
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? Don't kill it!
喔,停,停,你在做什麼?別殺牠啊!
Why not?
為什麼不要?
Because it's not hurting anybody.
因為牠又沒傷害任何人。
That thing could eat a baby.
那鬼東西可以吃掉一個嬰兒耶。

Hurry up.
快點。
I'm hurrying.
我在快了。
You got this.
你可以的。
Okay, the itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout.
好,那小不隆咚的蜘蛛爬上排水管(美國兒歌)。

Did you get it?
你抓到牠了嗎?
No, it scurried away.
沒,牠溜走了。
Well, where did it go?
那,牠溜去哪了?
I don't know.
我不知道。
What are we gonna do?
我們該怎麼辦?
Never use that bathroom again?
永遠不要再用那間浴室?
Don't be ridiculous. Here, you know what? I will take care of it.
不要傻了。喏,你知道嗎?我自己處理牠。

Okay, there's two of them now.
好,現在有兩隻蜘蛛了。
That's it. We're moving.
就這樣吧。我們走。
Okay.
好。
Where are the suitcases?
行李箱在哪?
I don't know. Let's just go. We'll throw it in the bag.
我不知道。就走吧。我們再把東西丟到袋子裡。
All right.
好吧。
I'll be in the car.
我在車裡等。
Okay, I'm coming. Emmit, let's go.
好,我來了。Emmit,我們走吧。

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