From the studio that brought you Snow White, Fantasia, and the Story of Menstruation comes the fairy tale that's been adapted for film again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and coming soon to a theater near you, again—Cinderella.
由為您帶來《白雪公主》、《幻想曲》和《月經的故事》的那間工作室，獻上被一次又一次改編成電影的童話故事，翻拍 N 遍了，很快又要再度在你家附近的戲院上映－－《仙履奇緣》。
Revisit the animated classic that will cancel out all the empowering things your daughter learned from Frozen...
"Leave the sewing to the women."
...where girls are taught to be pushovers, do all the housework, and that their problems will disappear if they're hot enough to land a rich husband.
Get swept away by the tale of Cinderella, an orphan girl enslaved to her stepfamily, who's either a powerful druid that can talk to animals...
"Where? In a trap?"
...or years of being locked away in a castle knitting sweaters for mice have slowly driven her mad.
"Yes, I know it's a lovely one, but...it was a lovely dream, too."
Yup, definitely crazy.
But everything will change when she meets her fairy godmother, a guardian angel who's waited years to improve Cinderella's life in any way instead of helping her out when her parents died or when her stepfamily forced her into slavery. Thanks for the dress, lady. But it would have been more helpful if you bibbidi-bobbidi called Child Protective Services, like, eight years ago.
Even though Cinderella's name is the title, spend more than half the movie watching a cat try to contain the army of vermin who have infested every corner of the house. And for all his reasonable efforts to contain the rodent horde, gets Bran Stark'd out the window.
Savor the age-old love story between a prince who couldn't be bothered to find his own wife and a king so desperate for heirs he doesn't care whose uterus his son uses as a baby factory, whether it's a hermit maid who talks to mice or just someone with the same shoe size.
"This slipper may fit any number of girls."
"That's his problem."
So, travel back to a simpler time and sing along to the classic songs you've loved since childhood, like the song that inspires false hope:
This song is about deception
Most dreams just don't come true
But I am the rare exception
I'm skinny and pretty and cute.
The cute little mice song:
We are mice as smart as people
We could kill you in your sleeple
Go ahead and tell somebody
No one will believe you
Watch us handle the scissors
We'll tear apart your innards
Stab your eyes out with a needle
Watch us get medieval
So don't mess with mice who are as smart as people
And the Oscar-nominated gibberish song:
Blurpity blurp a derpitty derp
A-blibbidi blabbidi blunk
Anything rhymes if you make up the words
These writers clearly were drunk
Starring...I Ain't Saying She a Gold Digger, Bram Stoker's Dracula, the Kardashians, Wilford Brimley, Prince Foot Fetish, Rosie O'Donnell, Modest Mouse, and Unrealistic Expectations of Relationships That Girls Carry into Adulthood.
I know the stepmom was bad, but good luck with the father-in-law!
"If anything goes wrong..."
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- 「抵消、消去」- Cancel Out
Revisit the animated classic that will cancel out all the empowering things your daughter learned from Frozen…
- 「把某人逼瘋」- Drive Someone Mad
...years of being locked away in a castle knitting sweaters for mice have slowly driven her mad.
- 「跟著唱」- Sing Along
So, travel back to a simpler time and sing along to the classic songs you've loved since childhood...