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「童年大崩壞!誠實預告片揭開《仙履奇緣》的黑暗面」- Honest Trailer: Cinderella


框選或點兩下字幕可以直接查字典喔!

From the studio that brought you Snow White, Fantasia, and the Story of Menstruation comes the fairy tale that's been adapted for film again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and coming soon to a theater near you, again—Cinderella.
由為您帶來《白雪公主》、《幻想曲》和《月經的故事》的那間工作室,獻上被一次又一次改編成電影的童話故事,翻拍 N 遍了,很快又要再度在你家附近的戲院上映--《仙履奇緣》。

Revisit the animated classic that will cancel out all the empowering things your daughter learned from Frozen...
重溫經典動畫,它會讓你女兒看《冰雪奇緣》學到所有關於女力的觀念化為烏有...

"Leave the sewing to the women."
「針線活是女人家的事。」

...where girls are taught to be pushovers, do all the housework, and that their problems will disappear if they're hot enough to land a rich husband.
...女孩們被教育要當濫好人、包辦所有家事,然後如果她們很正能釣到金龜婿,一切煩惱就會消失。

Get swept away by the tale of Cinderella, an orphan girl enslaved to her stepfamily, who's either a powerful druid that can talk to animals...
好好陶醉在灰姑娘的故事中,一個被繼親打壓的孤女,她要不是一個能和動物交談的超強祭司...

"Where? In a trap?"
「在哪?在陷阱裡?」

...or years of being locked away in a castle knitting sweaters for mice have slowly driven her mad.
...就是幾年來被鎖在城堡裡給老鼠織毛衣漸漸把她逼瘋了。

"Yes, I know it's a lovely one, but...it was a lovely dream, too."
「嗯,我知道今天是很美好的一天,可是...那個夢也很美妙。」

Yup, definitely crazy.
沒錯,肯定是起肖了。

But everything will change when she meets her fairy godmother, a guardian angel who's waited years to improve Cinderella's life in any way instead of helping her out when her parents died or when her stepfamily forced her into slavery. Thanks for the dress, lady. But it would have been more helpful if you bibbidi-bobbidi called Child Protective Services, like, eight years ago.
不過一切都會在她見到自己的神仙教母時改變,一個等候多年要不計方法改善灰姑娘生活的守護天使,但她卻不在灰姑娘的爸媽掛掉時幫她,或在她後母和繼姐逼她當僕人的時候。還真謝謝妳的禮服咧,女士。不過更能幫上忙的做法,是在大概八年前就念念咒打給兒童保護部門。

Even though Cinderella's name is the title, spend more than half the movie watching a cat try to contain the army of vermin who have infested every corner of the house. And for all his reasonable efforts to contain the rodent horde, gets Bran Stark'd out the window.
雖然灰姑娘的名字是片名,但花大半部電影的時間看一隻貓試圖阻止害獸大軍,牠們出沒在家中每個角落。儘管他為了制止一群老鼠做出的努力很合理,那隻貓還是像布蘭‧史塔克一樣被丟出窗外了。

Savor the age-old love story between a prince who couldn't be bothered to find his own wife and a king so desperate for heirs he doesn't care whose uterus his son uses as a baby factory, whether it's a hermit maid who talks to mice or just someone with the same shoe size.
細細品味古老雋永的愛情故事,主角是一個懶得討老婆的王子和一個想抱孫想到瘋掉、不管兒子用誰的子宮來製造寶寶的國王,管她是關在家裡和老鼠說話的女僕,還是鞋子剛好穿一樣大的女人都行。

"This slipper may fit any number of girls."
「這鞋子可能一堆女孩都穿得下啊。」

"That's his problem."
「那是他的問題。」

Whatever.
隨便啦。

So, travel back to a simpler time and sing along to the classic songs you've loved since childhood, like the song that inspires false hope:
那麼,回到更簡單美好的年代,一起唱從兒時就愛的經典歌曲,像是那首讓人抱有錯誤希望的歌:

This song is about deception
這首歌唱的是欺騙

Most dreams just don't come true
多數夢想不會實現

But I am the rare exception
不過我是少見的特例

I'm skinny and pretty and cute.
我苗條、美麗、卡哇伊

The cute little mice song:
可愛小老鼠之歌:

We are mice as smart as people
我們是和人一樣聰明的老鼠

We could kill you in your sleeple
在你睡搞搞時可以殺死你

Go ahead and tell somebody
去跟別人說啊

No one will believe you
鬼才會相信你

Watch us handle the scissors
看我們用剪刀

We'll tear apart your innards
我們會讓你的內臟分家

Stab your eyes out with a needle
用針把眼睛戳出來

Watch us get medieval
看我們用滿清十大酷刑

So don't mess with mice who are as smart as people
不要招惹和人一樣聰明的老鼠

And the Oscar-nominated gibberish song:
還有榮獲奧斯卡提名,不知道在唱蝦餃的歌:

Blurpity blurp a derpitty derp
你在唱蝦餃

A-blibbidi blabbidi blunk
到底唱蝦餃

Anything rhymes if you make up the words
只要瞎掰就能押韻

Zlippity zappity
是鼻涕擦鼻涕

Flippity flappity
肥波弟法拉利

These writers clearly were drunk
這些寫詞的肯定喝茫了

Starring...I Ain't Saying She a Gold Digger, Bram Stoker's Dracula, the Kardashians, Wilford Brimley, Prince Foot Fetish, Rosie O'Donnell, Modest Mouse, and Unrealistic Expectations of Relationships That Girls Carry into Adulthood.
領銜主演...我沒說她是拜金女、伯蘭‧史杜克筆下的德古拉、卡戴珊姊妹花、威福‧伯明萊、腳控王子、蘿西‧歐唐納、謙遜耗子,以及小女孩到長大都還抱有對愛情的不實幻想。

Sweeping Beauty
《掃地美人》

I know the stepmom was bad, but good luck with the father-in-law!
我知道後母人很差,不過那個公公,祝妳好運了!

"If anything goes wrong..."
「萬一出什麼差錯...」

Be sure to subscribe for more Honest Trailers.
務必訂閱以收看更多誠實預告片。

  • 「抵消、消去」- Cancel Out

    Revisit the animated classic that will cancel out all the empowering things your daughter learned from Frozen…
    重溫經典動畫,它會讓你女兒看《冰雪奇緣》學到所有關於女力的觀念化為烏有…

  • 「把某人逼瘋」- Drive Someone Mad

    ...years of being locked away in a castle knitting sweaters for mice have slowly driven her mad.
    ...幾年來被鎖在城堡裡給老鼠織毛衣漸漸把她逼瘋了。

  • 「跟著唱」- Sing Along

    So, travel back to a simpler time and sing along to the classic songs you've loved since childhood...
    那麼,回到更簡單美好的年代,一起唱從兒時就愛的經典歌曲...

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