Hey, guys! So one of the most common questions I get all the time is, "Hey, Ryan! Are you single?"
And for the past two years, I've been giving you guys the same answer, "Yes." And then I get a whole bunch of comments that are like, "How do you not have a girlfriend?" "I'll be your girlfriend." "I can be your girlfriend." "Ryan, I'll be your girlfriend."
And honestly, I appreciate it. It is so flattering; it makes me feel good right here...on my boob. But to be honest, guys, you have no idea what it's like to date someone like me. There's a reason why I've been single for so long. I probably have every single quality of the worst boyfriend.
The Worst Boyfriend Ever
I am the opposite of romantic. I am the epitome of unromance-tic.
Surprise! Happy Anniversary!
Nothing. But, I mean, most couples give each other flowers or roses.
But flowers are useless—they just die.
But a razor?
You needed one, right?
Then why have your legs been so sandpapery lately?
And you did need the toothpaste because I've been using yours to preserve mine.
Then what about the cactus?
It's for the bathroom, to remind you to do something about your pokey legs.
Whether I'm wrong or I'm right, I have to win every single argument, even if I'm wrong.
I didn't know the biggest animal in the world was a blue whale!
No, it's not. It's an onyx. You're so cute when you're stupid.
I'm reading it right here.
Then it's wrong.
Why do you always have to argue with me?
Why do you always have to argue with me?
You're being really immature right now.
You can't just copy what I say!
You can—1-0 Ryan.
妳可以－－1 比 0 Ryan 勝。
Also, I can be very controlling.
No! You can't go.
It's just a family dinner.
Are there gonna be any guys there?
Well, is your dad going?
I am so hurt right now.
I get jealous very easily.
Mmm...this hummus is good. I love it!
Then why don't you just marry it then?!
I always leave the toilet seat up.
Hey honey, could you start putting the toilet seat down when you're done?
Well, then, could you start putting it up when you're done? 2-0 Ryan.
嗯，那麼，妳上完廁所可以開始把馬桶坐墊掀起來嗎？2 比 0 Ryan 勝。
And the worst quality of all, and probably the main reason why I'm still single, is because I tend to overreact...just a little bit.
I'm gonna miss you. Do you have to go?
You already know, though.
Well, have a safe flight.
Have a safe flight? Have a safe flight?! How dare you put that kind of pressure on me! I'm not the pilot. I can't control the safety of my own plane...let alone the entire flight! You know, sometimes, you can be really insensitive.
Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a little bit. But we all know that everyone has these qualities, at least to a certain degree, because, as we all know, nobody is perfect. Whether you think it's your favorite celebrity, or YouTubers, or a new boyfriend or girlfriend that you've been dating for the past month, they're all just as messed up as you are. Because we're all human. And the trick is not to find the perfect person but for the perfect person...to find the trick. Anyway, if you're in a relationship or if you're single, and no matter what, I just wanna let you guys know that I...
I just saw your video and you're right.
How? I'm still filming it.
No one is perfect, and I forgive you because...I still love you.
Oh yeah, and I forgot to tell you guys. I have a really hard time saying "I love you" to people.
I just told you I love you, and you can't even say it back to me?
I said, "Me too." I love me, too.
You know what? Just forget it. I can't believe I wasted all this time on you. Goodbye, Ryan. And have fun finding someone that can put up with you.
And I could still hear her words echoing in my head as if it just happened yesterday.
And have fun finding someone that can put up with you.
And that's when I realized I could not, would not, shant not let things end like this. Catherine! You have fun finding someone that can put up with you. 3-0 Ryan.
就是那時候我發現我不能、不可以、不應該讓一切這樣結束。Catherine!妳才慢慢找可以忍受妳的人吧。3 比 0 Ryan 勝。
註一：YouTuber 指的是在影音分享平台 YouTube 上分享影片的人。
- 「一直、不停地」- All The Time
So one of the most common questions I get all the time is, "Hey, Ryan! Are you single?"
- 「不知道」- Have No Idea
But to be honest, guys, you have no idea what it's like to date someone like me.
- 「更不用說」- Let Alone
I can't control the safety of my own plane...let alone the entire flight!
- 「容忍、忍受」- Put Up With
You have fun finding someone that can put up with you.