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「老外的日本美容用品初體驗,人人驚呼:『這是什麼鬼?!』」- Americans Review Japanese Beauty Products


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Americans Review Japanese Beauty Products
美國人看日本美容產品

Hourei Facial Lift Bra
Hourei 臉部拉提面罩

Okay.
好。

Uh-huh.
嗯哼。

It's a bra for your face, obviously.
很顯然,這是給臉用的胸罩。

Looks right.
看起來沒用錯。

Does it look cute?
可愛嗎?

Actually, yeah.
老實說,可愛耶。

Feels super natural. It's like nothing's on my face at all.
感覺起來超自然的。就像臉上完全沒東西一樣。

Oh, I don't... I—I feel pain?!
噢,我不... 我--我覺得痛痛的?!

Yeah, I know!
嗯,我知道!

And now it says the third step is to do something like this...
現在它說第三步是做這樣的事...

It's, like, trying to contour your face differently.
這就像試著幫臉塑型。

It left an imprint on my face, I feel, so it did something.
那在我臉上留了個印子,我感覺到了,所以它有點用。

Yeah, but, like, a punch in the face does that too.
是啊,不過在臉上揍一拳也會。

Facewaver Sag Face Stretcher
Facewaver 鬆鬆臉救星

This looks terrible.
這看起來好嚇人。

Oh, man. This is so much better than the other one.
天啊。這還真是比另一個好太多了。

It looks like a baby's outfit—how it snaps.
這看起來就像寶寶的衣服--它黏上的方式。

This is like a baby's worst nightmare. That's what it looks like.
這像寶寶最大的惡夢。它看起就是那樣。

Just looking at it without it on my face...
只是看著,沒有把它戴在臉上...

What are we supposed to do other than, like, rob a bank or something?
我們應該做什麼,除了搶銀行還是什麼的?

Oh! You're supposed to do face stuff again.
噢!妳應該再做一次那個臉部運動。

Ow! I cracked my jaw.
噢!我落下巴了。

To be clear, are we rating effectiveness or how f****** scary this is? Because 10 out of 10 for both.
講真的,我們是要評這個的效果還是這有多恐怖?因為兩個都是滿分。

OMNI Beauty Lift High Nose
OMNI 鼻子挺神器

Wait, do these little balls go in my nostrils?
等等,這些小球會進到我的鼻孔嗎?

Tighten it, so—yeah, so that goes in. Oh, yeah, you're doing it.
用緊,那樣--沒錯,那樣它就進去了。喔對,妳在用了。

Look at that! Fits like a glove.
看看它!就和手套一樣合。

Oh! It's in there! Oh...I don't like this!
噢!進去了!噢...我不喜歡這樣!

Are you ready to switch it on?
妳準備好要打開了嗎?

Will you do the honors?
能勞煩你一下嗎?

Here we go.
開始囉。

What?
什麼東東?

No. No, just leave it.
不。不,不要碰它。

This is making my eyes water.
這讓我眼睛泛淚了。

Slightly—wow! Okay, hold on. It's like a vibrator for your nose. That's all it is.
稍微--哇!好,等等。這就像是鼻子的震動器。它就是。

Oh, what the hell.
喔,搞什麼鬼。

He broke it.
他用壞了。

MTG Facial Fitness PAO 7
MTG 微笑曲線拉提棒

This is essentially a shake weight for your mouth.
這基本上就是嘴巴用的搖擺鈴。

Shake your head up and down to swing the weights on both sides. It is recommended to exercise directly in front of a mirror.
上下擺動你的頭,以搖擺兩邊的砝碼。建議直接在鏡子前運動。

Ugh. Ugh. No. Oh God. You look like an idiot.
呃。呃。不。老天。妳看起來像個白癡。

Don't...don't...
不...不...

I don't know what to say about this one because it is unlike anything I've ever done.
我不知道要對這個說些什麼,因為它不像我做過的任何事。

He can't stop putting it in his mouth, though.
但他卻無法停止把那放進嘴巴裡。

From the inner ear to the chin.
從內耳到下巴。

No, I can't do it. It's too stupid.
不,我不行。這太蠢了。

Final thoughts?
最終感想?

The Japanese are dreamers. And I love that about them, and I'd like to visit them.
日本人是夢想家。我喜歡他們那點,我會想去拜訪他們。

They're not just dreamers. I mean, they execute.
他們不只是夢想家。我是說,他們動手做。

Anyone could say I'm gonna invent this flying face mechanism thing, but...
任何人都可以說我要去發明這個會飛的臉部機械啥玩意的,不過...

They deliver.
日本人會實現。

They actually do it.
他們真的去做。

For the people who use this stuff, though, I would just say don't. You don't have to. You know, accept who you are; be comfortable in who you are. Um, you don't...
但對那些用這東東的人,我只會說不要用。你不必用。你知道,接受自己;對你自己感到自在。嗯,你不用...

Love your cheeks. Don't constrict your face. You don't need a nose vibrator, and stop wagging your mouth.
愛你的臉頰。不要束縛你的臉。你不需要鼻子震動器,然後不要再擺動嘴巴了。

  • 「根本、絲毫」- At All

    It's like nothing's on my face at all.
    就像臉上完全沒東西一樣。

  • 「除了」- Other Than

    What are we supposed to do other than, like, rob a bank or something?
    我們應該做什麼,除了搶銀行還是什麼的?

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