Guys have their quirks; girls have some quirks, too, but let's talk about it. Dating is like watching a TV show. Halfway through the season, I'm like, "Do I even like this?"
Right before you guys make it official, girls love to leave stuff behind so they have an excuse to see you again.
"Hey, um, I left my earrings in your car."
"Yeah, I'm in my car right now; I don't see them."
"Um, check in the fridge, in the second drawer to the right. Check in there and see if they're there."
"How did they get in here?"
"So, um, can I come over later and get them?"
When you have a girlfriend, first thing you have to understand is a lot of them love blankets. And I mean a lot of blankets. They get cold very easily. Not all, but most. And girls, you love to do this thing when you're out with a dude, usually in the courtship before you start dating. And it's freaking freezing. And you're there like... She's on the verge of catching pah-neumonia.
Your teeth are chattering; you got snot bubbles, and the guy's like, "Yo, you cold?"
"No, no, no. I'm fine."
And the guy goes to give you his jacket.
"No, no. No, no, no. I'm good."
"You look like you're about to catch death."
Girls love to pop pimples. If you start getting a pimple...
"Dibs, dibs, dibs! I'm popping it."
Some of my exes would even be on YouTube watching pimple-popping videos.
我有些前女友甚至會看 YouTube 上擠痘痘的影片。
You also have your checkpoint girlfriends. "Text me when you get home; text me when you get to work; text me when...I don't know, what else men do." It's like checkpoints in a video game.
Why come you girls take up 95 percent of the bed? Fellas, you wake up in the middle of the night with no blanket, freezing cold on the edge of the bed. And your girl is taking up the other 99 percent of it for no reason.
"Ah. Oh my God, you are so warm."
It's not on purpose. It's just how they roll. I think it goes back to that girls are always cold thing. They're trying to push up against your warmth, so that's why they constantly pushing you against the edge of the bed, which also explains why they shower in 200 lava degrees Celsius water. If you ever hop in the shower as your girlfriend's getting out...
這不是故意的。她們就是愛那樣。我覺得這就回到我們剛剛提到的，女生無時無刻都覺得冷。她們會一直蹭你身上的溫度，所以這就是為什麼她們會一直把你擠到床邊了，這也解釋了為什麼她們會用跟岩漿一樣燙 200 度的水洗澡。如果你有過跟在妳女友後面洗澡的經驗...
"Ah! I'm melting! I'm melting! Dead."
French fries. You'll ask your girl if she's hungry, and she'll be like, "No, I'm good." You walk in to get some french fries and walk out. And all of a sudden, different situation. Girls love french fries, okay? Fellas, one thing you have to understand: Food always tastes better when it's coming off of your plate.
And girls never know where they wanna eat, but they always know where they wanna eat.
"Pick a place."
"I don't care. Anywhere is fine. Wherever."
Fellas, just know that you have to start naming off stuff until you hit the sweet spot, okay?
Another thing, girls love to shop even if they don't buy anything. Thank God. Online shopping doesn't require us fellas to be there present. But it's just something to keep in mind because girls love to shop. I don't think Fashion Nova is ever gonna go out of business.
另一件事情，女生很愛逛街，即使什麼都不買。感謝上帝。線上購物不需要我們男生陪在旁邊。但就是要記得這件事情，女生很愛逛街。我覺得 Fashion Nova 應該永遠不會倒。
Also, detective girlfriends. You'll know if you have one. Those are the girls that get in the car like, "Um...whose hair is this? Who does this belong to? This isn't mine. This is not my shade of ombre!" All up in your trunk with a black light. In most cases, it's the girl putting insecurities from their past relationships onto you, but in some cases, fellas, you've done something, you've messed up, maybe you cheated, or you—I don't know—micro-cheated. And then you made your girl a detective girlfriend—oh, and you got problems, cousin.
There are those girls who let their boyfriends get away with murder. Guys do this, too, but sometimes you girls will get a guy who you think is so attractive, and you love him so much; you let them get away with everything. If you're over six feet tall, you got the hair, you got the jawline that cuts glass—those guys I've seen, when they get into relationships, they get away with murder. I've said this before, but anything you allow increases. That's in any relationship—boyfriend-girlfriend, mother-father. Whatever relationship, if you allow something to happen, it's most likely gonna increase.
Fellas, it's a good idea: If you can prevent lying to your girlfriend, don't do it! Because they catch you in that lie, and they stay with you, and next thing you know—everything turns into a fight.
"I don't want you to hang out with Sabrina anymore!"
「我不想要你再跟 Sabrina 出去了!」
"Why are you always liking half-naked girls on the gram? The only naked girls you're allowed to like are me! Me!"
「為什麼你要一直在 IG 上按一些衣服穿很少的女生讚？唯一一個你可以喜歡的裸女只有我!我!」
In a future video, I'm most likely to talk about boyfriends because we have our set of quirks, too. Don't get it twisted.