Since I have hissed at you the customary 437 times, it is now my duty as the head of the household to, begrudgingly, welcome you. Perhaps you are here to replace me, but I must do my duty and educate you on your new surroundings, as Maximilian once did for me. Rest in peace.
因為我已經對你嘶嘶叫了習俗上的第 437 次，現在是我身為一家之主的責任來勉強地歡迎你了。或許你是來竄位的，但我必須盡好義務教你有關新環境的一切，就像老麥斯曾為我做的一樣。願他安息。
This room here is basically a crapshoot, either you get the petting of your life—and I mean two hands, like, you don't even know what's going on—or they just lie there and don't do anything for hours. It's weird.
Oh, and I should also point out on special occasions, they will leave the underwear drawer open to signal their appreciation...of me. Just to be clear, it's my spot. It's perfect in there. It's like sleeping surrounded by underwear. Well, I mean, that's exactly what it is.
I remember when I could fit in a shoe. There's nothing like it, being engulfed in 360 degrees of foot smell... Enjoy it while you can.
Because you are so small, you cannot jump, which is sad, sad for you, but eventually you will, and you will find the places that I refer to as "up." This will come in handy, especially around the human larva, which I know smells like milk but can be a bit grabby.
You should be aware that there are two kinds of food. The first is sort of a dehydrated brown niblet. I think they give us these because they're training us to be astronauts—just a guess. The second kind is wet food. It is so special they keep it in little armored metal casings that no claw can penetrate. With no claws to speak of, the humans can somehow open them. It's like some dark magic.
I should warn you of the monster known as "vacuum." It can eat and yell at the same time. And I've seen it eat everything, seriously, like a paper clip and two cat toys—didn't even flinch. To hide from vacuum, you may use the curtains of invisibility. Oh yeah, you're good. Good hiding. Oh, boy.
One final note, once in a while you might see a little red dot. I'm going to tell you this right now: It is real, and it can be caught. I did it once. I held it for a full minute, but when I lifted my paws, it was gone.
So Kitten, welcome to the household. You'll do just fine.
- 「稱為」- Refer To As
...and you will find the places that I refer to as "up."
- 「有用、派上用場」- Come In Handy
This will come in handy...
- 「同時」- At The Same Time
It can eat and yell at the same time.
- 「偶爾、有時」- Once In A While
One final note, once in a while you might see a little red dot.