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「學校的突發狀況???」 - How To Hide An Unwanted Erection in School?


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How To Hide An Unwanted Erection in School?
如何掩飾校園裡不由自主起立的小兄弟?

It's great to know that thing is working. But getting an erection in school can be really embarrassing. You will need: An oversized shirt, sweatshirt or t-shirt, a book bag with long straps, and baggy jeans or khakis.
知道東西有作用是很棒的。但是在學校勃起可是很尷尬的。你將需要:一件超大號襯衫,汗衫或是T-shirt,一個長背帶的書包和鬆垮的牛仔褲或是卡其褲。

Step one. If erections in school become a daily problem, buy long button shirts that you can wear outside your jeans, or wear oversized sweatshirt or tees.
第一步。如果在學校勃起變成每天的困擾,買長版襯衫,你可以穿在牛仔褲外面的,或是穿超大號的汗衫或T-shirt。

Step two. Always have a book bag with extra-long strap with you, one that won't look odd when it's slung over one shoulder so it hangs down low in front. This would be a life saver when class ends and you have to jump out of your seat.
第二步。老是隨身攜帶一個有特長背帶的書包,懸掛在肩膀上而看起來不怪的那種,如此它可低掛在前面。當下課你必須離開座位的時候,這可能是你的救星。

Step three. Wear baggy jeans or khakis. When your little buddy jumps to attention at an inopportune time, you can slip your hands in your pockets and casually push the pants material away from your groin, making the balls less noticeable. Ejaculating more often can solve a spontaneous erection problem.
第三步。穿鬆垮的牛仔褲或卡其褲。當你小兄弟在不適當的時候引起注意,你可以把手滑入口袋,若無其事的把褲子布從胯下推開,讓蛋蛋看起來不這麼顯眼。更頻繁地射精可以解決不由自主勃起的問題。

Step four. Once you have done your best to camouflage the problem, it's time to get rid of it altogether. Doing a complicated math problem in your head often works since it forces you to focus on something else.
第四步。一旦你已經盡力遮掩這問題,現在是完全消除問題的時候了。通常在腦袋中做個複雜的數學問題會有成效,因為它強迫你專注於別的事情上。

Step five. Tense your quadriceps (the muscles in front of your legs). This redirects the blood flow away from Mr. Happy, taking the wind out of his sails, so to speak.
第五步。繃緊你的四頭肌(你大腿前的肌肉)。這把血流重新導離Mr. Happy (小弟弟),洩了他的氣,可以這樣說。

Step six. Now pinch yourself, not in an "Aren't I lucky?" kind of way but to bring tears to your eyes. The pain should do the trick.
第六步。現在掐你自己,不是那種「我在作夢嗎?」的方式,而是要流眼淚的。這種疼痛非常有效。

Step seven. If all else fails, walk around on the heels of your feet. This has worked for many hormonally charged young men. And if it doesn't, you'll look so dorky that no one will notice your budding manhood.
第七步。如果所有其他方法都失敗,到處走路。這已經對很多充滿男性賀爾蒙的年輕男性有效了。而如果這沒效,你會看起來像個傻B,所以沒有人會注意到你萌發的男子氣概。

Did you know, the average length of an erect penis is 5.1 inches (13 cm)?
你知道嗎,勃起的陰莖平均長度是5.1英寸 (13公分)?

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