Oh, you are garbage. I'm working on that.
My bad, guys.
What do you mean your bad? You're supposed to be here 45 minutes ago.
什麼叫你的錯？你應該 45 分鐘前就要到這了。
It's such a big season for you. Focus!
L.A. traffic—I was stuck on the 405.
洛杉磯的交通──我被堵在 405 公路上。
Traffic? Really? That's your excuse?
You should fire your chauffeur or something.
I don't have a chauffeur.
What? Why not?
You're a professional athlete. Don't you guys come with, like, personal drivers and limos for everything? You know, like drive you to practice, drive you to dinner, drive you to the toilet sometimes, maybe.
No, I don't take a limo everywhere I go. That would be financially irresponsible.
You know what you need? You need to get some endorsement deals. That way, you can afford to hire your own chauffeur.
That's right. I mean, this is L.A., you know, get in front of the camera, do some commercials.
Eh...I don't know.
What do you mean, "Eh...I don't know?" Look, I can totally see it.
He once had the game-winning three from the free-throw line. When he goes on the juice cleanse, he gains 10 pounds of muscle. Chipotle never has to remind him that guacamole costs extra. He is the most "linteresting" man in the world.
I don't always drink boba, but when I do, I use a buy-one-get-one-free coupon.
I like a frugal man.
Wait, where'd that come from?
Don't worry about it.
Twins are separated at birth—Jeremy and Jeremiah have finally reunited. Ever since they were young, it was clear they were destined for greatness. They shared stories about their amazing scores. For every great score Jeremy mentioned, Jeremiah had an equally impressive score of his own.
雙胞胎一出生就被分開──Jeremy 和 Jeremiah(註一)總算重逢了。從他們年輕的時候，就很顯然他們註定要成就非凡。他們分享關於他們驚人成績的故事。Jeremy 每提到一個優異的成績，Jeremiah 就有個同樣令人欽佩的分數。
Oh, Jeremy, remember to sleep early, okay? I know the other players are gonna go out and do partying, but you should stay in and use the new comforter your auntie got you. Did you write her a thank-you card?
Dude, it's not even plugged in.
I can't hear you.
Yeah, I guess I can see myself doing a couple of those.
You know what? I don't know if he can just jump right into the big ones. I mean, let's be real here.
All right. So, what do you guys think I can get?
Hi, my name is Jeremy Lin, and I shop at EZ Max, where everything is under a dollar. We've got you covered from top to bottom. So, come in and take the plunge, and save big, because the prizes are "linsane."
嗨，我叫林書豪，我在 EZ Max 買東西，這裡每樣東西都不到一元。我們把你從頭到屁股都包辦了。所以，請進來冒險看看，然後省下大錢，因為價格是「林瘋了」。
Man, I can't...I can't. I quit! I QUIT!
I can do better than that.
Yo, you know what you should do?
You should, like, cater to the Asian market, because you're an Asian. You should do like Asian products.
No...no...no, he shouldn't limit himself. You know, he should endorse something the whole world likes.
My name is Jeremy Lin and I love puppies—abandoned puppies. Come save one today.
All right, that's enough guys. I just wanna play basketball. All these other stuff is secondary. So, can we get back to practicing?
Sorry. Yeah, you're right.
All right. Yo, let's do some drills. I'll be Nash.
You can't be Nash.
Because Nash is... He's way taller than you.
因為 Nash 是...他比你高太多了。
Oh, okay, yeah...you're right. I'll be Kobe.
喔，好吧，對...你是對的。我當 Kobe 吧。
Okay, I'll be Nash.
No, I'll be Nash. Come on, Jeremy. We got work to do.
See you, guys.
He'll be Nash?
註一：Jeremiah 是《聖經》中的一位先知，因為音似林書豪的名字 Jeremy，在這裡刻意將此當做另一位雙胞胎兄弟的名字。
- 「採取行動、冒險嘗試」- Take The Plunge
So, come in and take the plunge, and save big, because the prizes are "linsane."