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「愛神救救我!遠距離戀愛怎麼維持?」- 5 Steps to a Better Long Distance Relationship


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Oh! So you're young and in love and your boyfriend's perfect, and then he gets into college three time zones away. It's heartbreaking. But don't fear! Not all relationships have geography going for them. In fact, did you know that 3.75 million marriages are long-distance relationships?
噢!你很年輕而且陷在愛情裡然後男朋友又超完美,接著他進到一所相隔三個時區的大學。 這讓人心碎。但別害怕!不是所有戀情都有地理優勢。事實上,你知道有 375 萬對夫妻是遠距離關係嗎?

Look, one of the biggest tests to a relationship is when you become separated from your loved one. No matter how much you brush it under the rug (Hey, man! Do long-distance relationships even exist in the digital age?), it can be difficult to go from seeing someone every day to only seeing their status updates on Facebook. There can be tensions, emotional distance, jealousy—basically a whole mess of bad stuff. It's no wonder that many people believe long-distance relationships are doomed to fail. But we are here to help.
聽著,一段感情最大的考驗之一就是在你和愛人分隔兩地時。無論你多不想承認(嘿,老兄!遠距離戀愛在這數位時代裡還存在嗎?),從每天見到某人變成只能看他們 Facebook 上的動態更新還是可能不好受。可能會有緊張的狀況、感情變冷淡、猜忌--基本上就是一堆鳥事。難怪很多人認為遠距離戀愛註定就是會失敗。不過我們是來這提供協助的。

Today on WellCast, we're gonna give you our five D's—five methods to save your long-distance relationship and even make it better! Let's dig right in. Pause and print this worksheet from watchwellcast.com and put it someplace where you'll see it daily. Ready?
今天在 WellCast 節目裡,我們要給你五個D開頭的小撇步--五個拯救你的遠距離戀愛,甚至讓關係更美好的方法!讓我們開始吧。暫停並從 watchwellcast.com 印下這張表單,把它放在某個你每天都會看到的地方。準備好了嗎?

Step one: define your relationship's parameters. Dr. Guldner, Director of the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, explains 70 percent of long-distance relationships fail if changes aren't planned for. So, save yourself any surprises. Have a serious discussion with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and decide the following things: A. How long will this relationship be long distance? A summer? A year? Is there a time limit? The less uncertain the future of the relationship seems, the better. B. How often are we gonna visit each other? C. What are the best ways to talk for us? Skype? Phone? IM?
第一步:確定(Define)你這段戀情的界線。Guldner 博士,遠距離關係研究中心的指導人,說明百分之七十的遠距戀愛會失敗,如果變化是預料外的。所以,替你自己省掉任何驚喜吧。和你的男朋友或女朋友好好討論,並決定下列事情:A. 這段感情會遠距多久?一個夏天?一年?有時間限制嗎?這段關係的未來看起來越明確,對你們越好。B. 我們會多常去看對方?C. 對我們來說,最好的聊天方式是什麼?Skype?電話?即時訊息?

Step two: do things together, apart. Pick a night to make the same meal, rent the same movie one weekend, play an online video game together. Just because you live far away from someone doesn't mean you can't continue to share the small everyday experiences that make up a normal relationship.
第二步:在不同地方,一起做事情(Do thing)。挑一晚煮一樣的料理、在一個週末租同一部電影、一起玩一款線上遊戲。只因為你住得離一個人很遠,不代表你們就不能繼續分享構成一段正常關係的那些日常生活瑣事。

Step three: dedicate time to talk. Set a time to talk to your partner every day. And, listen. You don't have to talk about important life things every time. Talk about what you had for dinner, why your job is stressing you out, what you carved your pumpkin into. Touching base daily will make the distance between the two of you seem smaller.
第三步:花時間(Dedicate time)聊天。訂一個時間每天和你的另一半說說話。還有,聽著。你不用每次都聊重要的人生大事。聊聊你晚餐吃了什麼、為什麼你的工作要把你壓垮了、你把你的南瓜刻成什麼。每天連絡會讓你們兩人間的距離好像縮小些。 

Step four: ditch the jealousy. This might be the trickiest of the bunch. One of the biggest threats to a long-distance relationship is giving your boyfriend or girlfriend the benefit of the doubt, making peace with the fact that you won't know exactly what he or she will be doing every day. And by the way, that's okay. In fact, it's healthy. For tips and tricks on getting over jealousy, check out this WellCast episode.
第四步:拋開(Ditch)猜忌。這可能是一堆事裡最麻煩的一項。遠距離戀愛最大的威脅之一就是姑且選擇相信你的男朋友或女朋友,讓自己接受你並不會確切知道他或她每天會做什麼這件事。順帶一提,那沒關係。實際上,這是健康的。要了解克服猜忌心的技巧,看看 WellCast 這集影片。

Step five: drop by when you can! This seems like an obvious one, but seriously, go visit! Pick a good airline or bus service, and stock up on those frequent flyer miles. Nothing can quite take the place of actually seeing someone. Take advantage of those rare opportunities, and make it special! It'll only strengthen the bond you have for each other.
第五步:可以的時候就去拜訪(Drop by)!這似乎是很明顯的一點,但講真的,去看看他吧!找一家優質的航空或客運,累積那些會員飛行里程數。沒有什麼能完全取代實際見到某人。好好利用那些珍貴的機會,讓它變特別!這只會強化你們對彼此的羈絆。

Let's recap! Today, we hit you with our five D's to a happy long-distance relationship. It's not going to be easy to maintain a close relationship when it feels like the person you love is in Antarctica. But here are five tenets to follow. First, define the parameters of this relationship so there are no surprises. Second, do things together even if you are a thousand miles away. Third, dedicate a time to talk daily. Fourth, ditch that jealousy. And fifth, drop by when you have the opportunity.
來簡單複習一下吧!今天,我們獻給你通往幸福遠距離戀愛的五個D開頭的小撇步。維持緊密的關係並不容易,當你愛的人感覺起來就像遠在南極一樣。但這裡是五個能照著做的原則。首先,確定這段關係的界線,好讓意外的事不會發生。第二,就算你們相隔一千哩遠,還是一起做些事。第三,花時間每天說說話。第四,拋開那猜忌。第五,有機會就去找對方。

Tweet us at WatchWellCast, email us at watchwellcast@gmail.com, or leave a comment down below. We'll see you next time!
在 WatchWellCast 的推特上發訊息給我們、寄信到 watchwellcast@gmail.com,或在下方留言。我們下回見!

  • 「戀愛」- In Love

    Oh! So you're young and in love and your boyfriend's perfect, and then he gets into college three time zones away.
    噢!你很年輕而且陷在愛情裡然後男朋友又超完美,接著他進到一所相隔三個時區的大學。

  • 「有優勢」- Have Something Going For

    Not all relationships have geography going for them.
    不是所有戀情都有地理優勢。

  • 「事實上」- In Fact

    In fact, did you know that 3.75 million marriages are long-distance relationships?
    事實上,你知道有 375 萬對夫妻是遠距離關係嗎?

  • 「隱瞞、忽視、否認」- Brush Under The Rug

    No matter how much you brush it under the rug...
    無論你多不想承認...

  • 「難怪」- No Wonder

    It's no wonder that many people believe long-distance relationships are doomed to fail.
    難怪很多人認為遠距離戀愛註定就是會失敗。

  • 「組成」- Make Up

    Just because you live far away from someone doesn't mean you can't continue to share the small everyday experiences that make up a normal relationship.
    只因為你住得離一個人很遠,不代表你們就不能繼續分享構成一段正常關係的那些日常生活瑣事。

  • 「使非常焦慮」- Stress Out

    Talk about what you had for dinner, why your job is stressing you out...
    聊聊你晚餐吃了什麼、為什麼你的工作要把你壓垮了...

  • 「聯絡」- Touch Base

    Touching base daily will make the distance between the two of you seem smaller.
    每天連絡會讓你們兩人間的距離好像縮小些。

  • 「假定某人無辜、姑且相信」- Give Someone The Benefit Of The Doubt

    One of the biggest threats to a long-distance relationship is giving your boyfriend or girlfriend the benefit of the doubt...
    遠距離戀愛最大的威脅之一就是姑且選擇相信你的男朋友或女朋友...

  • 「接受」- Make Peace With

    ...making peace with the fact that you won't know exactly what he or she will be doing every day.
    ...讓自己接受你並不會確切知道他或她每天會做什麼這件事。

  • 「順帶一提」- By The Way

    And by the way, that's okay.
    順帶一提,那沒關係。

  • 「克服、戰勝」- Get Over

    For tips and tricks on getting over jealousy, check out this WellCast episode.
    要了解克服猜忌心的技巧,看看 WellCast 這集影片。

  • 「順便拜訪」- Drop By

    Step five: drop by when you can!
    第五步:可以的時候就去拜訪!

  • 「善用」- Take Advantage Of

    Take advantage of those rare opportunities, and make it special!
    好好利用那些珍貴的機會,讓它變特別!

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