You may be doing some pretty little things that can have a big negative effect on what people think about you. So in this video, we're gonna cover nine of the most common mistakes you may be making that can kill your charisma and some quick fixes. Here we go.
你可能會做出一些小事情讓別人對你有不好的印象。所以在這部影片中，我們要概括九點你可能最常犯的錯誤，讓你魅力大減，還要提供一些快速解決辦法。開始吧。
First, not proactively introducing yourself. Many people feel uncomfortable when they enter into a new group, so in order to keep a low profile, they often offer a small hand wave or just stand there quietly. This is uncomfortable for everyone involved. So the next time that you find yourself entering or being pulled into a small group, make sure to make eye contact and introduce yourself to everyone there with a handshake. If they're particularly involved in the conversation, you can simply say, "Don't mean to interrupt, but just wanted to introduce myself," which brings me into number two—not introducing your friends when you're in a new group isn't cool. A simple "Hey, this is my friend, Dave" goes a long way towards making everyone else feel more comfortable.
首先，不積極介紹自己。很多人在進入新團體時會感到不自在，所以為了保持低調，他們只會不明顯地揮一下手，或只是安靜地站在那邊。這對團體內的每個人來說都很不自在。所以下次你發現自己加入或被拉到一個小團體裡時，一定要有眼神接觸，並和每個人握手自我介紹。如果他們很投入在某個話題裡，你就可以說：「不是故意要打斷你們，我只是想自我介紹一下」，這就帶到第二點－－在新團體時不介紹你的朋友，一點都不酷。一句簡單的「嘿!這是我朋友 Dave」能讓大家覺得自在許多。
Third is talking about things that no one cares about. It's fine to mention that you had a weird dream. But as soon as you find yourself telling a three-minute story about it, you're probably boring people. The same goes for long speeches about anything that really only concerns you, like the quality of your tan, your car problems, or what you had for dinner last night. And if you're unsure whether something only concerns you, it's probably because you're committing the fourth mistake—not soliciting feedback.
第三點是講根本沒人在乎的事情。你可以提自己昨晚做了個怪夢。但一旦你發現自己整整三分鐘都在講那個故事，你就可能是個無趣的人。對只關乎自己的事情大肆談論也一樣，像是講你曬黑的程度、汽車的問題，或者你昨晚晚餐吃了什麼。如果你不確定某件事情是不是只對你來說很重要，可能是因為你犯下第四個錯誤－－沒有要求別人的回饋意見。
You don't want to go on for minutes on end lecturing. There should be opportunities for people to ask questions if they're truly engaged. If they're only nodding giving responses like "wow" or "geez," then they may be uninterested. You might wanna try pausing midstory to ask the other person a question, just to see if they ask you how that story ended or to find out that they were tuning you out the whole time.
你不會想要花好幾分鐘一直講一個話題。如果別人真的有投入在話題裡，應該要讓他們有機會提問。如果他們只有點個頭給出像是「哇」或「天哪」這樣的反應，那他們可能就不怎麼感興趣。你可能會想試試在故事中間停頓一下來問對方問題，看看對方是否會問你故事結局是怎麼樣，或發現他們根本一直沒在理你。
Fifth is trailing off or mumbling. While you can pause midstory, you don't want to trail off mid-sentence, because it makes you sound like you don't really respect whatever you're talking about. You see, no matter whether you're introducing yourself, telling a story, or saying "thank you" to someone who held the door for you, do it in a full and clear voice.
第五點是聲音漸漸飄走或嘟囔。雖然你可以在故事中間停下來，但不要句子講到一半變越來越小聲，因為那會讓你聽起來像不重視你在講的事情。你看，不管是在自我介紹、講一個故事，或對幫你扶住門的人說謝謝，都要用清楚有力的聲音說。
Sixth is answering questions with single words. If you find yourself consistently experiencing awkward silences, chances are that you're putting yourself in those situations with short answers. If you give longer, two- to three-sentence responses to those small talk questions, you're not necessarily oversharing. You're giving the other person stuff to continue talking about, which is usually very appreciated. Also, when you ask questions, try to make them ones that can't simply be answered in a single word, or at least follow up with questions that can't be.
第六點是只用一個字回答問題。如果你發現你很常陷入尷尬的沉默，有可能是你的簡短回答讓自己陷入那些情況。如果你用比較長、兩到三句話的回答回應那些可以小聊的問題，你不見得會講太多。你是在讓別人有東西可以繼續講下去，這通常都是很令人喜歡的。還有，問問題時，試著讓問題不可以只用隻字片語回應，或至少繼續問一些不能只用一個字回答的問題。
Seventh, whining. Complaining is just flat out a bad habit. And when you whine to people around you without seeking their advice or looking to improve the situation, you just drive them away from you.
第七，發牢騷。抱怨絕對是種壞習慣。而當你跟周遭的人抱怨，但卻不想尋求建議或是改善情況時，你就只是在讓他人遠離你而已。
Eighth is not remembering names. Everyone has a hard time with names. So saying that you're not good with names or not a name person is no excuse to not make an effort. If you typically have a hard time, which most people do, you can repeat the person's name when you hear it again in conversation and then finally when saying goodbye to them. Forcing yourself to say someone's name and then recall it twice in a short time span makes it much more likely to stick.
第八點，不記得名字。大家都很不會記名字，所以說自己很不會記名字或不是個善於記名字的人並不能拿來當作你不努力的藉口。如果你通常很難記住名字，大部分的人都是這樣，你可以在對話裡又聽到那個人的名字時重複念一遍，最後也可以在和他們道別時再重複一次。逼自己講某人的名字，並在短時間內回想兩次，會讓你比較容易記住。
Ninth is lacking principles. We all experience massive social and psychological pressure to fit in, so many of us hide the things that we believe or the things that make us weird. And while this might keep us out of trouble, it usually just makes you totally forgettable. It's the people who have convictions and live by them that generate the most respect and are the most charismatic. It doesn't mean that you have to shove your beliefs down other people's throats, but don't be afraid to get clear on your principles and stand up for them even when it's not the popular thing to do.
第九是缺少原則。我們在融入團體時都會經歷巨大的社會和心理壓力，所以我們很多人會隱藏自己相信的事情，或是讓我們看起來很奇怪的事情。這雖然可能會讓我們免於碰上麻煩，卻也常常讓自己毫無記憶點。有信念，並依自己的信念而活的人，最會讓人尊敬，也最有魅力。這不代表要強迫別人接受自己的信念，但不要害怕講清楚並捍衛自己的原則，即使那不是最受歡迎的事情。
There you have it—the nine most common mistakes that people make with their charisma.
就在這裡－－九個大家最常犯，並會讓你魅力大減的錯誤。
If you like this video, I have a special request today. I'd like you to click the button and subscribe to Zeino's channel. Zeino animated this video. He reached out to me and offered to do it totally for free despite the fact that it took him hundreds of hours. And his dream was that the exposure will help him hit 5,000 subscribers on his channel. So, if you would be so kind, please click the button, give him some love, and check out his other animations. I know that if he does hit that 5,000 number, he will be over the moon.
如果你喜歡這部影片，我今天有個特別的小請求。希望你們可以按下按鈕並訂閱 Zeino 的頻道。Zeino 幫這部影片做了動畫，他親自找我並幫我完全免費做動畫，儘管這花了他幾百個小時的時間。而他的夢想是這個曝光能讓他的頻道達到 5,000 個訂閱人數。所以，如果你願意發揮好心，請按下按鈕，給他一些關愛，並看看他其他的動畫。我知道如果他的訂閱人數達到 5,000 人，他一定會超級無敵開心。
