You know, everybody wants to be happy. So, why isn't everybody happy? The obvious answer is it's not easy. And one of the single biggest obstacles to being happy is that people naturally compare themselves to other people and assume nearly all of them are happier than they are. This is a big problem. So, how would you like an equation to determine the exact amount of unhappiness in your life?
大家都想要幸福快樂。那麼，為什麼不是每個人都過得幸福快樂呢？一個很顯然的答案是，這並不容易。而快樂的其中一個最大阻礙就是人們本來就會和他人比較，而且還認定幾乎所有人都比自己幸福。這是個大問題。那，你想要一個判定你人生中確切的不幸值的方程式嗎？
Well, I am here to tell you that I have developed an equation. It is U=I-R. U is "unhappiness," I is "image," and R is "reality." The difference between the images you have had for your life and the reality of your life is the amount of unhappiness in your life, which gives you an idea of how powerful images are in hurting us.
嗯，我在此告訴你們大家，我發明了一個方程式。也就是 U=I-R。U 代表「不幸」、I 是「想像畫面」，R 則是「現實」。你對人生的想像與現實生活之間的差異即為你人生的不幸值，這讓你了解想像畫面對我們的傷害有多大。
It's inevitable. Everybody has an image. As you grow up, you imagine what life will be when you get older. I had very, very powerful images—if I may be personal—and it'll help here to be personal because I have gone through this. I imagined that I would be happily married, never divorced, have four perfect children sitting around the table discussing politics and theology...every meal.
這無可避免。人人都有畫面。在你成長的過程中，你想像自己大一點時的生活會是什麼樣子。我就有極為強烈的畫面－－容我講點私事－－在這裡牽扯到我個人會有所幫助，因為我有過經驗。我想像自己婚姻美滿、不可能離婚、有四個完美的孩子圍著餐桌討論政治和神學...每一餐都這樣。
Well, it didn't quite turn out that way. I was divorced. I was divorced with a child. And my kids didn't always want to talk about theology and politics. Sometimes they didn't want to talk at all. Sometimes they wanted to talk about sports or about music that I couldn't stand.
這個嘛，結局並不太是那回事。我離婚了。我帶了個孩子離婚。而我的小孩不總是想討論神學和政治。有時候他們根本不想開口說話。有時候他們又想聊體育或我聽不下去的音樂。
Now, I had to realize very early in my life that I would either have to abandon my image or I would be miserable the rest of my life. And this is true for just about everybody—very few people live out the image that they had assumed their life would follow and become.
現在，我在人生很早期就得明白，我要不就是必須拋開我的想像，不然就是接下來的人生都過得悲慘無比。幾乎所有人都是如此－－極少人實現心中原有的人生藍圖和樣貌。
That's what the middle-life crisis in so many people is about, whether it is male or female. Especially for men, they reach 35, 45, 55, and then they think, Wait a minute! I'm not nearly what I had assumed I would be in terms of accomplishment and achievement. I thought I would be the CEO; I thought I would be a president; I thought I'd be the President of the United States! I thought I would be earning this amount of money; I thought I would be one of the most respected members of my community. And then I would say every man ultimately fails the image that he has had for himself. That's the biggest part of what mid-life crisis is about.
那就是許多人有中年危機的原因，無論是男性或女性。特別是男性，他們到達三十五、四十五、五十五歲，接著他們會想，等等!我的事業成就遠遠不及我原本以為我會達到的。我以為我會當上執行長；我以為我會成為董事長；我以為我會成為美國總統!我以為我會賺這麼多錢；我以為我會是社區內最受景仰的成員之一。然後我會說，每個男人最終都會辜負他對自己的期望。那就是中年危機最大的因素。
Images kill people. Think of anorexia: Some teenage girls and young women have an image of how they want to look, and in some cases, they will starve themselves to meet that image.
想像畫面害人不淺。想想厭食症：一些青少女和年輕女性對自己想看起來的外貌有個想像，然後在某些案例中，她們會讓自己挨餓好符合心中的那個樣子。
This is true for whatever images we have in our life—people imagine family life a certain way; they imagine a spouse a certain way; they imagine their children a certain way; they imagine their job a certain way...they imagine a whole host of things. And then those images are very often shattered.
不管我們生活中有什麼想像都是一樣的－－人們想像家庭生活是某個樣子；他們想象另一半是某個樣子；他們想像自己的孩子是某個樣子；他們想像自己的工作是某個樣子...他們對一堆事情都抱有想像。然後那些畫面時常會幻滅。
So, what do you do about it? Well, there are two things. One, either develop a new image and enjoy that or just celebrate the reality that you now have. Maybe the reality you now have is pretty darn good. You don't need an image to ruin it, because I promise you that that's exactly what the image will do. And that is why U=I-R. Unhappiness=Image-Reality.
那你要怎麼辦呢？嗯，有兩件事。一，要不是創造出一個全新的畫面然後好好享受，就是頌揚當下所擁有的現實。或許你現在擁有的現實還滿不賴的。你不需要有個想像畫面來毀了它，因為我向你保證，那正是想像畫面會帶來的效果。而那就是為什麼 U=I-R。不幸 = 想像畫面 - 現實。
I'm Dennis Prager.
我是 Dennis Prager。
