This is a pig. You handed me a pig.
Xtreme Try-Not-to-Smile Challenge
A producer here wants to try to make me smile. Good f**king luck.
Oh God. This is like that game I played as a kid, like, "I love you, honey, but I just can't smile."
I smiled once. And I hated it.
I'm already smiling, so I don't think I'm gonna be too good at this.
From here on out, I'm about to press play, and I'm not gonna smile. And I am not going to smile.
This is adorable.
I actually feel, like, dirty that I wasn't able to express those emotions. Like if they have blue balls for your heart, I've got blue balls of the heart.
Very cute. Didn't smile. Nailed it.
This better not be a clown. Why did you bring children?
Hey, man. How's it going?
What's your name?
Blake. And what's your name?
Oh, man, you got me. Remember, I'm not angry. I'm just trying not to smile. How many software engineers does it take to install a light bulb?
No, zero because it's hardware. You don't get that one? Nope?
Which house is another house?
I don't know. Which house is another house?
I don't know what's happening. Has this happened with every person?
How's your day? He just left me.
Thank you for the hug. That was very nice of you.
Of course a kid's gonna make me smile. I didn't understand his jokes, but I still wanted to laugh at his jokes.
Eric, I'm expecting more from you, man.
Clark, I need you to close your eyes and put your hands out.
I will never smile. I have never smiled.
Put your hands up a little bit.
What is that? What is that sound?
What is this? Its little snout is tiny.
Can someone hold his face so I can look at his face? ...so I can look at his face? Oh, but he's pooping.
Where can I scratch? Do you like a butt scratch? Like a butt scratch? Yeah.
Goddamn it. Get Eric. Try to make me... You try... You f**ker, it's f**king pooping on me. Course I'm gonna smile. This adorable little baby just shat all over my arm.
去你的。叫 Eric 來。試著要讓我... 你試著要... 你個*蛋，牠大便在我身上。我當然會笑啦。這隻可愛的寶寶剛剛挫賽在我手上耶。
When I'd scratched her butt, her leg did this thing.
Cute little puppies, and then adorable little kids with hugs, even a little teacup pig can't get me, but once something sh*ts in front of me...
Just laugh. Life is too short. Come here. Come here, lady.
Has he pooped on everyone? Just me? Eric, you got me to smile. You did it. You mad genius.
Nope, nope. That's not food. Nope, that's not food. There we go. There we go.