You are about to witness real, disturbing footage of foreign traveler to Japan.
Every four minutes, a foreigner in Japan is victimized by squat toilet-only bathroom. This does not have to be your life. Today, we will teach you how to not fear the squat toilet.
Tip one: Proper squatting technique
Most case of STSD, squat toilet stress disorder, are caused by improper squatting technique. First, you must learn how to squat the Japanese way. American squat like this. This squat is unstable, leaving you prone to falling.
多數 STSD 案例，亦即蹲式馬桶壓力症候群，是因不當蹲坐技巧引起。首先，你必須學會如何用日本人的方式蹲下去。美國人是像這樣蹲。這種蹲法並不穩，讓你很容易跌倒。
Stop it! I'm trying to go to the bathroom!
Japanese squat like this. To switch to flat floor squat, you must shift your center of gravity forward. This position, very stable.
Ha! Ha! Stop it! Stop!
The most common squat toilet mistake is not squatting far enough. You may have heard that at least with the squat toilet, you can get thigh workout while you pee. Ha-ha...so funny joke.
You are doing it wrong. Squat is a resting position, all the way down. It is not a difficult position, unless you have big butt, because maybe it touches the floor. You should not use squat toilet.
Tip two: Pull pants below knees
When you use squat toilet, you must pull pants below knees. Otherwise, your pockets become upside down while you use toilet. Many squat toilets are auto-flushing—very dangerous situation. Many people every year tricked into giving sacrifice to evil squat toilet gods. Do not let them fool you.
Tip three: Do not touch anything
Because idiots like you is peeing incorrectly, many times there is pee all over the floor. And then some people is pressing flush with their pee shoes, too. Use toilet paper to flush. And hover above ground so that you do not touch the floor.
With these three tips, squat toilets are easy and relaxing to use. Don't stop hovering.
Many people find they enjoy squat toilets more once they know how to use them correctly, because they are so quick to use, and you do not have to touch anything. I said don't stop hovering!